I’d like to share my official biography with you. I have revealed many parts of my story with you over the years, but now you can read my whole story in one place.
I am Anna Bey, the founder of School of Affluence, an online finishing school for women. I am an educator in the elegant feminine empowerment space and have been called a thought leader and pioneer in this area. I can confidently call myself a trailblazer in this genre because I was the first to be sharing content in this niche since 2012, I have the most recognition for this work in the international press and the biggest audience across multiple platforms.
I believe that all women from any background can transform their lives and opportunities by elevating their mindset, personal presentation and strategising on reaching individual goals and aspirations.
I currently live in Geneva, Switzerland with my husband. When I am not sharing and educating through my various platforms, I can be found living my best life at the riding stables, traveling and spending quality time with those I value most.
You can connect with me and my community via my social channels and products to educate yourself on femininity, elegance and personal improvement. You will also find below my complete backstory of how I got from the un-glamorous suburbs of Stockholm, Sweden to my international life as a globally-renowned elegance instructor, including the experience and qualifications that give me the credentials to teach these subjects.
This is the most complete story of my life so far where I share anecdotes from my journey, my biggest “a-ha moments”, my deepest values and beliefs. I am writing my own story in part to answer the biggest questions about my work, my values and who I am. The core reason I have put my whole story out there is to inspire the belief in you that transformation never stops and anything is possible!
I’m originally from Stockholm, Sweden, but my background isn’t so typical as my mother is Estonian-Russian and my father is Finnish. I grew up as the only child in a very strict household. I always felt deprived and what I mean by that is that I missed out on a lot of the typical experiences of the teenage years. I was quite nerdy, I struggled with socializing in my early years and was even bullied a little. I didn’t date and I certainly didn’t experience going to parties. Our home was near a farm, so I spent a lot of time with horses. In adulthood I’ve found my love for riding again, so that’s something really positive I’ve taken forward from my childhood.
My strict and conservative upbringing helped to explain my priorities in my 20s: traveling and partying. There was really no focus for my career or in relationships. I wanted to concentrate on all the things I felt I missed out on in my teenage years. I had this feeling deep inside me that something was missing and that there was more to this life for me. While I was on this journey to new experiences, I discovered the magic of what I didn’t have and what I was missing: a luxurious and elegant way of being; the jetset life.
Let’s back up a little first to the point where I was finishing high school. The expected next steps seemed to be all mapped out for my fellow graduates and I: going to college, which meant another four years studying in the same place. I had several reservations about going on to university and one of them was that I had no idea what I wanted to do yet! It is hard to describe the feeling, but my instinct was saying that following this typical path was not for me and this feeling was reinforced by having no clear direction at this point. I felt that there was more out there, but I just couldn’t put my finger on quite what it was yet. I knew I wanted more than what I could have had if I stayed in Stockholm. Many see the life that was available to me in Sweden as a dream. Don’t get me wrong, I know Sweden is a very privileged place to be, but it wasn’t right for me. I wanted even more out of life than what I could get there.
I didn’t know my full potential yet, but I craved an adventure. I wanted my life to start instead of being put on hold for something undefined in the future. In 2005 I made the opportunity to change my life by taking a student loan and registered myself for an Italian course in Rome, which I talk more about in this YouTube video. I desperately wanted to leave Sweden, and this was the perfect reason.
I packed all my things and traded my metropolitan city of Stockholm for the cosmopolitan city of Rome. I still didn’t really know what my goal was, but for the time being Rome was everything I’d wanted and more! I found a summery romance in the air in Rome that was a total contrast to the cool vibe of Stockholm. Although Sweden is my home, I just never felt like I quite fit in with the culture or that it was the right place to reach my dreams and aspirations. The Swedish culture was certainly more modern, but I’m not sure that was for the best or happiness of the majority, and it certainly didn’t speak to me.
There was a glamour and warmth about the beautiful people in Rome. The men were totally different in how they interacted with women too. They were much more traditional and gentlemanly in their approach. A man holding a door for me was wonderfully normal in Rome, whereas in Stockholm this charming gesture felt taboo. In this city I found a captivating mix of high-society and the excitement of youth culture. I felt like I was reborn in this new place, but I was still very much the basic ”Plain Jane” who had arrived with the one-way ticket from Sweden. I had no real plan to get from where I was to where I wanted to be, but I saw possibility everywhere and the flexibility of youth would help me figure it out.
I found it easy to make new friends in the warmth and openness of the social culture in Rome. A brief and intense romance with a young Italian man changed the course of my life forever. He came from an old money family and being with him was the first experience I had in high-society. He literally opened the doors for me to this life and we fully experienced young love while jet-setting across Europe. I think what was so special about him and our relationship was that he was the first man to show me what it felt like to be treated well as a lady.
I wasn’t looking for a luxury lifestyle when we started dating, indeed I don’t even think I realized what that was yet! I will always be grateful to the first romance of my new life because he opened my eyes to a world of possibility. As young love usually fades, so did our romance. Although this lifestyle was a dream come true, it wasn’t mine to live with him. However short-lived, I’d managed to join the jet-set circle where the people were beautiful and life was good. When I look back at this time in my life I see that this period in Italy was the beginning of my new, and better, life.
When we parted ways I was right back to my ordinary life. I didn’t want to go back home and resume the unremarkable path that had seemingly been set out for me. I now knew enough about the possibilities of a better and more fulfilling life, and I made the commitment to myself to figure out how to re-enter this world on my own. I had to learn how to upgrade myself from the Plain Jane I was to the elegant lady I wanted to be.
After a year in Rome, and my Italian romance fading, I knew it was time to move on. I’d had a taste of the elite and wanted more, but I had to find out how to get to the next step on my own. I had advanced just enough to know I needed to be strategic, but I had no network to help me on my way. My image and manners still needed a lot of work to move effortlessly in the circles I aspired to belong in.
I moved to Ibiza in 2006, a Spanish island known for its beaches and high-end nightlife. Why was Ibiza the next stop in my journey toward the life of my dreams?
A friend I met in Rome inspired my next move. This friend had access to wealthy and elite people through her work. I remember that I thought she was so lucky to have this connection to the world where I wanted to belong. When I look back I’m so grateful to myself for my “a-ha moment” inspired by this social connection. I realized I could emulate her situation by finding a job that would also give me exposure to the jetset crowd.
My first job working as an animator as a hotel was a bit of a flop, so I was under pressure to find another one quickly. Ibiza’s main attraction was the nightlife and I could see my access point as a dancer. I had a background with ballet and Latin dance, but I was certainly not a professional dancer by any stretch. I auditioned anyways for one of the most sought-after roles in Ibiza as a go-go dancer in the hottest nightclub. A nightclub dancer of this type would hype up the crowds from the podiums as well as mix with the patrons in the VIP areas.
Despite some imposter syndrome, I reached high and this audacity and self-belief was rewarded. I got the job at the internationally renowned Amnesia nightclub, which I talk about more in this podcast episode.
In hindsight I can see how important this decision was to find a job that would give me access to the networks I wanted to join. Although I was still very much a beginner in the jetset world, this role gave me instant cachet. I worked in the VIP areas where stars, millionaires and even billionaires partied. What was more important than having this access was being invited alongside other dancers to private parties and events. They would be held at incredible villas and huge yachts, the type of environments I had previously only seen on TV. I was getting closer to the lifestyle I wanted, but still had so far to go to really make it with the elite.
The ladies who have been following me for some time will know I often repeat the saying ”your network is your net worth”, so let me take you back to when I first realized the value of surrounding yourself with people who elevate you. This was a pivotal time for me and there was someone in particular who helped me find my way forward. My dance manager was a skilled networker with a diary full of high-status contacts. I was lucky enough that she cared for me because I’d proven myself as a hard worker, and she took me under her wing. She taught me the importance of building and looking after your social circle. She also taught me how important it is to be genuine in interacting with the elite and to remember that even the most affluent are also just people at the end of the day. I still hold these values and work every day to repay in kind by teaching my ladies how to achieve success with the same formula that took me years to learn on my own.
A very wealthy friend of my dance manager would often invite me to be his guest on his yacht where we would party the night away with a certain very high profile socialite. I suffer from motion sickness and this can be a real problem for me when I’m on boats. I have a very vivid memory of becoming incredibly seasick on one day in particular, so I went downstairs by myself to try to cope with the situation. This socialite was Paris Hilton, and her kindness that time have always stayed with me. She had no obligation to look after me, but she did and it was so genuine and gracious in asking what was wrong and if she could help in any way, like getting me a glass of water or whatever else I needed.
This interaction helped to undo my negative preconceptions about the elite and my fears that others would see me in a bad light if I joined them. I learned that money and status were not inherently bad and neither were the individuals in this world. Of course, there were some not so nice people in this world, like in any place in society, but most were perfectly respectable and often quite lovely and kind. This mindset barrier was so important to move beyond to undo my negative associations with money and success, a bad seed that can be planted from a young age at home or in society.
The beaches and nightclubs of Ibiza became another classroom for me as I developed my education about the jetset crowd. In Rome I had my introduction to the old-money elite and in Spain I was developing my knowledge on the different type of affluent people including new money multi-millionaires. The more I learned, the more the deep passion in me was ignited to be at home in affluence. Not only did I feel this spark so deeply, I really believed it was possible for this high-society world to become mine too.
This hotspot club was the venue where I learned the basics for interacting with the elite. I learned how to make casual conversation, but more importantly how to listen. I figured out that by honing my listening skills I could pick up details such as what interested these elites, which would give more content to develop genuine conversations. I also learned about what gave high-class ladies their ”it factor” in the way they looked and how they carried themselves. I practiced these new social skills, which reinforced my confidence and presence. I also began refining my grooming, personal presentation and taste.
My next steps took me on a bit of a detour, but even in my lowest moments there were more really valuable lessons that ultimately led me to where I am today. This new perspective and awareness would eventually propel me forward again toward my true path.
I look back at my time in the Ibiza party scene as some of the best years of my life. The next chapter of my life is difficult to look back on because it was the beginning to the low point in my life so far. In Ibiza I began dating a popular Maltese DJ. At the end of the party season he went home and I followed him to the tiny Mediterranean island of Malta. In the beginning, this new move felt like another adventure in my new story. As we settled in, I lost the focus on my goals I found in Italy and Spain.
I still had access to the party scene through my DJ boyfriend and quickly became well known in the local social circuit. The scene was diverse and I interacted with all levels of people including the most affluent and elite. In a town as small as Valletta everyone knows everyone and it highlighted just how important it is to make connections and build your network. It was a really interesting experience to get to know the hip crowd in such a tiny country. I quickly understood that in a smaller place you have less competition and can therefor advance faster. There was some good that came out of my sojourn to Malta: I learned how to navigate close-knit elite social circles. I also got my first taste of marketing working for an online gambling company.
The parties soon lost their lustre and so did my relationship. I was going out a lot and not looking after myself anymore. How I felt on the inside was reflected by how I looked on the outside. I was now overweight, developed adult acne, brokenhearted and miserable. It was time for a change.
Return to Stockholm, Sweden
I decided to return home to Stockholm. I look back on this period of my life as a stepping stone to get back toward my path and ambitions. This was also the lowest point in my life so far. This move wasn’t going to fix the underlying issues making me unhappy and unfulfilled, but I took the time to work on my foundations and set up for future success.
I started looking after myself by changing my lifestyle and diet. The weight I gained in Malta began to come off, and in turn my body began reflecting a better version of myself. Around this time I was cast to be on a Swedish reality show, which was really not a good experience for my mental health. This negative spiral was only made worse by getting involved in a destructive relationship.
Despite the suffering of my mental health, I took some actionable steps to set myself up for a brighter future. I put my party girl days behind me and started to focus on my future for the first time. In Sweden, I was in the first class to take the first digital marketing course that had ever existed. I knew this was the right thing for me to do because I knew I wanted to work in this field and be own my own business one day. I worked on my degree and also got a job so I could save for my next move. The job I had during this period was as a carer for people with disabilities. I mostly worked night shifts so I could go to school and study in the daytime. Although I had taken action in one aspect of my life, I still felt like I was losing myself. At the time of finishing my studies, I got the strength to leave my destructive relationship. It was time to move on again and I got on the next flight to Latin America.
Travel to Latin America
I had saved enough money from my job to purchase a one-way ticket to South America. My tour started in the Central American country of El Salvador. It’s a tiny country with a spectacular Pacific coastline. Traveling by myself was invigorating and so freeing.
Although I was traveling by myself, it’s always really nice to be with familiar faces. I tapped the network I started building in Rome by being in touch with a lovely young woman whom I had stayed in contact with. She was from an affluent local family and I was thrilled when she invited me to stay at her fabulous house. My connection opened the doors to the local social scene for me. After some time I moved on to Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica and then Panama. At this stop I had no idea of where to go next. I connected with a really nice young man who had plans to travel to Colombia. He invited me to join him, which I did. When we got to Columbia I loved it so much I wanted to carry on exploring this beautiful country by myself.
I spent three really special months in Colombia focusing on myself, new experiences and adventures. I immersed myself in one of my greatest passions: Latin dance. I spent eight magical weeks in Cali, Colombia training in salsa dancing every day. This was such a special time in my life, but eventually reality came knocking again. The money I had saved in Sweden was starting to run low and my visa to stay was nearing expiry. It was also obvious to me it was time to focus on my career again. While still in Colombia I started applying for work back in Europe. Little did I know that my best option would be in London, so I packed my suitcase and headed to the United Kingdom!
My new job as a marketer for an online gambling company was waiting for me in the UK. I didn’t know anyone in London and I was totally starting over again. Although I had gained experience with the elite and luxury lifestyles, I had no network at all in London. Around the same time I moved to London a fun new social platform was starting to take off. I started seeing a lot of beautiful ladies from all over the world sharing their glamorous lives on Instagram. Inspired by the women I met along my journey into the jetset world, and these fascinating elegant ladies sharing their lives online, I began my blog Jetsetbabe in 2012. This platform was my first step towards sharing my experience and knowledge of the elite, and my thoughts on how to get there too, with other like-minded women.
I started to navigate London’s society scene while I was working on my little side project. I used my previous knowledge of high-society and experimented with new approaches. I continued to improve on my physical appearance and style, which I had been developing since my time in Rome. I had a deeply-held belief that how I looked was the key I needed for entry to the jetset world. I had gained confidence about my outward appearance and felt more refined and worldly. I no longer resembled the unrefined Plain Jane who left Stockholm all those years before. This idea I had about myself was a total illusion and my next “a-ha moment“ was when I realized what was missing and how to level-up for good.
I had been able to develop the outward appearance of an elegant woman of the world, but I had a jarring experience that led to my next breakthrough toward the best version of myself. A less-than-pleasant video of myself in a social setting made its way to my desktop. Although I looked good, my behaviour in the clip was nothing to be proud of or hold up as an example of elegance.
I remembered the women along my journey who extended themselves to be kind and generous to me: the socialite on the yacht who helped me when I was ill and my dance manager who taught me so much about networking were two examples of the many very positive influences I met along my path. These ladies had the looks and the lifestyle, but they were also really nice and giving people on the inside too. They did not define themselves by their social success or wealth, but rather by who they were as ladies: their integrity, honesty and kindness toward others. All of the nice things around them from luxury goods to property and cars did not define who they were as people; it was just a part of their lifestyle and nothing more. They had real substance beyond their designer bags.
It became very clear to me I had more work to do on myself and this time it would be the most difficult part: my mindset, my spirit and how I interacted with myself and the world around me. I needed to be elegant on the inside too. I realized too that finding this internal beauty would mean learning to love and accept myself for who I was in the past, who I was now and who I had the potential to become. I learned to give myself grace and this is why I can be so open about my less-than-glamorous past because I am not ashamed! This realization is why, after over 15 years on my own level-up journey, I advocate so strongly for ladies to start with their mindset before anything else when they want to improve their lives. You have heard me say it so many times: transformation never stops! I will always be working towards the best version of myself, but I crossed the biggest hurdles toward this goal when I healed my relationship with myself. What is the point of all the nicest things in the world if your longest and deepest relationship – the one with yourself – is broken? This realization catches every aspiring elegant lady off guard, just like it did for me. If you’ve gotten to this point – either because you figured it out yourself or because of something I’ve said – you’re so very close to reaching your potential and I urge you to keep going!
I had some serious soul-searching to do, including really looking deep into myself to answer the question: is the jetset life really what I want? I told you a little already about the dark sides of this glamorous world. At this point I was really struggling with the superficial aspects of this community. I embarked on a 10-day Vipassana silent retreat to work on my inner self. This meditation led me to the decision that I had to step back and really question everything I was doing and striving for in London. I even took a break from my Jetsetbabe blog to find my focus again in 2015. I took a few months out to dig deep on these questions and motivations. I had a series of further little “a-ha moments” that made me realize a few key things at this turning point in my life. I really thrived in the positive aspects of the jetset life and wanted to make this world my home for good. I made a really important realization: I had all the power to decide who to surround myself with and where to put my energy. Using everything I had learned about entry to the upper-class, and some charm, I finally found the social circle I had always wanted. I built a network of girlfriends who shared my values. Many of them were a really positive influence because they were a lot more advanced and I could learn from them.
Something quickly became obvious to me: while I was toiling at my desk job to afford my level-up and lifestyle, many of my society girlfriends didn’t work full-time (some didn’t work at all!). I keep telling you about “a-ha moments” and this was yet another one of them. I became preoccupied with how these ladies did it! Let me tell you what I discovered: they were allowing the men in their lives to provide for them. I learned that taking on this mindset is essential in so many ways. In knowing your worth, and in setting healthy boundaries and expectations with others, you can position yourself elegantly as a woman of status. Stepping into your femininity allows you to make the most of your potential and attributes and allows the men in your world to reach their full potential as natural providers.
This realization also started to shape my early ideas about traditional feminism and rejecting the so-called 50/50 mentality. These beliefs are now a cornerstone of my worldview and teachings. Of course, this perspective is where I also attract the most criticism. It is also where my students say they have the biggest “a-ha moments” when they realize the positive impact mindset has on their transformation. To me, traditional feminism means you can do anything you want, but you don’t have to do everything.
Let’s get back to my story. I did what I felt was the natural next step in my progression toward the jetset: I saved up a reserve fund, quit my job and went travelling again.
Travel to Asia
I took off for Asia. On this trip I fell in-love with a high-calibre man with whom I had a relationship. He showed me how a real man looks after his woman. I think it’s important to say that being provided for isn’t just about the financial and material support, but it’s a system where it is possible that a woman’s emotional needs are also met. What I mean by this is the security and stability that women crave and can seem so out of reach in our modern society. This concept was once totally normal the world over, but in most of Western cultures this concept is becoming more foreign. I don’t think this drive for so-called equality actually leads to an improvement in happiness for either sexes. In this structure I see a double burden for women of all the traditional responsibilities plus the heavy load of providing too. Men are both spoiled and emasculated by this set up. Just like that most women can become their best selves when they step into their femininity, most men need responsibility and purpose to really thrive. This belief system is why I educate women so much about setting healthy boundaries with finances and rejecting the 50/50 culture.
I was still learning about how to allow a man to provide for me with this relationship in Asia. I had reached new heights in my transformation: I was more beautiful, I had the lifestyle, every material thing I wanted and I was advancing my network. The spiritual journey I had set out for by traveling to Asia ultimately fell flat when I realized there were still pieces missing and personal issues that were holding me back from reaching my full potential. After some time, this relationship had also run its course. We ended it after I had returned to London, done some time with therapy and understood that I had to focus on finding what I really needed: not what I thought I needed. I’m grateful to this man for showing me how a provider looks after his woman, but it was clear there was no long-term future. This was a huge pain point for me as he felt like “the one” at that time.
Back to London
It took returning to London to realize that going travelling was just another way of avoiding the deeper issues inside myself. I also wanted more out of relationships than what I had experienced so far – I wanted my happily ever after. I took a path I had never expected for myself: I went to therapy. This step changed everything for me and ultimately allowed for the most successful chapter of my life. This success came at a cost though: going through therapy was tough! I found this to be especially true during the first 10 months. The process was severe and I often felt like I was taking one step forward and two steps back. I had to really dig deep with my therapist to break down the defense mechanisms I’d built up over a lifetime and coming to terms with childhood traumas was overwhelming and sometimes too much. This struggle paid off though when I had my first breakthrough. Here is what I learned: although my looks, manners and surroundings were much more beautiful, but until this point I had not learned to be gracious and loving with myself. Shortly after this turning point in my journey I met my now husband in 2016. I’ll tell you more about that story shortly, but I’ll tell you now I know had I not done the inner foundational work on myself before meeting him this relationship would never have succeeded. Inner work can be so difficult, but it really is the key to true success. Although I live abroad now, I am open about still seeing the same therapist by calls and in person when I return to London. Ladies, I mean it when I say transformation really does not stop!
My ladies love the story of how I met my husband. I do keep our relationship private for reasons I have discussed before, but I am happy to tell the story because the life lessons from it are important: working on yourself first, the power of law of attraction and not settling for less. I mentioned that not long after starting my journey with therapy I met the man I had wanted for so long! I was also working with Law of Attraction, which I think really contributed to planting the seeds of this love story. If I had settled for any of them I would not have found my happily ever after! The power of networking also comes through in this story: a girlfriend of mine introduced us by inviting me to a double date with her Swiss beau and his friend. For my ladies who really must know: on the night of our first meeting we met first at the Blue Bar at The Berkeley and then went on to share a meal at Park Chinois! We were long distance between London and Geneva for several years before we decided to take the plunge and relocate to Switzerland full time. My husband and I got married in January 2021 and I tell the whole story here.
How did I make the leap from working in internet marketing and writing Jetsetbabe as a hobby to deciding I wanted to educate women about self improvement and elegance? This was a bit of a process that started with writing a blog and transitioned as trends in online content changed with the times. I also launched a Jetsetbabe Facebook group in 2016 at the request of my blog readers, so the topics could be discussed more interactively. Also my popular request I resumed writing the blog the next year. In 2017 I also became a Certified Matchmaker at the Matchmaking Institute in New York. Although I ultimately decided this path wasn’t for me, my credentials on the subject certainly do help the dating and relationships content I produce. As another little side project at the time I wrote an e-book called How To Be Classy (sorry ladies, this book has now been discontinued). Back in the days of my digital marketing studies, I had also learned about launching online courses, which was becoming very de rigueur. I had built up so much knowledge about personal transformation and elegance, plus I was really buoyed by my Jetsetbabe audience. I decided I wanted to launch a course on the subject since my audience had been requesting it. I also knew from my online marketing background that the future was in video content.
After months and months of practicing speaking on camera, I launched my YouTube channel in September 2018. I quickly grew an audience as my content was unique and controversial at times. My loyal fanbase loved my Youtube opener “my dear elegant ladies”, which has since become my trademark phrase. The next month I launched School of Affluence with my first course ‘’The 7-Step Formula to High Society” (sorry ladies, this one is also now discontinued!). My YouTube grew really rapidly at this time, which was helped by so much press coverage. My advocacy of feminine women, lifestyle transformation and boundary setting with men was as surprisingly controversial and news-worthy then as it still is now! To this day I still struggle with media coverage that misrepresents my message as the media likes to portray it as a “school to bag a rich man”. In reality, this is a personal development and empowerment program for women who want to become the best versions of themselves to achieve any of their goals. The school specializes in teaching elegance, femininity, and how to live a more refined life. The continued success of my students speaks louder than my critics and are the voices that matter most to me!
In 2019 I launched my umbrella company, Bey International SA, which is a home for all of my initiatives for women. At this time I also felt it was time to start expanding my credentials so I could continue to provide the highest quality education to my students. I advocate a lot about upgrading personal styling and image as a part of leveling up, so I felt that I needed to expand on the knowledge I learned from personal experience and trial and error on my own journey. In London I gained my certified image and color consultant accreditation and also certified in fashion styling. If you’ve been a long-time follower you might have noticed my own style developing at this time, particularly with regards to my use of colour. I also think my styling advice really advanced at this time and was reflected in the quality of my subject content from this point.
In the summer of the same year I attended the famous Swiss finishing school “Institut Villa Pierrefeu” where I received my diploma in International Etiquette and Protocol. In July 2020 I was ready to launch my second course “Secrets of the Elite Woman” (SOTEW), which greatly expanded on, and further refined, the content of my first course. I had learned so much about my trade, course creation and production in between these two courses, which is why I also discontinued my first one around this time. I had a health setback from around this time too that forced me to prioritize myself and step back from work temporarily. I made a comeback to my work and platforms in early 2021, which I talk about in detail here.
With my health restored, I was ready to return to my students and my mission. After the success of the first session of SOTEW, I launched a second term in February 2021. Finally, in May 2021 I launched my most recent product: The A-List, which is an online private members’ club for ladies. This is a social platform where my ladies can build the strong networks I have been advocating for years. At the time of writing this I have over 940,000 subscribers on YouTube, my original platform. I cannot say enough how grateful I am to every single one of my ladies!