Podcast episode 20
My dear elegant ladies, welcome back to a new episode. I know it has been forever since I have been here and haven’t released a podcast episode in so long, and I will be explaining to you why in just a second, but first, I just want to give you a little introduction to today’s episode because I’m actually not doing a solo episode today. I have a guest with me. And the guest is Susie Moore, who is actually a student of mine. She took my program Secrets of The Elite Woman. This is actually how I got to know her. And Susie is a successful seven-figure entrepreneur. She’s also a master networker, which not many people know about this, but she’s going to share loads of tips in today’s episode. And Susie is a life coach. So she has actually just released her third book, which we will get to know more about in just a second. And I have actually met Susie many times in person because we met the first time this summer. And we spent quite a lot of time together because we were at the same time in the south of France. And then we also went to Provence and saw each other there. So Susie is a wonderful person and I’m so happy to have her with me today. Because I really want you to take part of her amazing energy, but also her amazing knowledge and insights. And today’s episode is really going to be just like a casual girls’ chit-chat. Because me and Susie, we’re going to be laughing loads. So be prepared to hear all our giggles, but we’re also going to do some deep talk. And you’re also going to get to know some of my personal sides that you might not have heard about before. Like some of the things that I struggle with and hoping maybe Susie can give me some advice.
Anyway, I think many of you will be able to relate to a lot of the things in today’s episode. So I am very excited about that. But before we begin with today’s interview, I do want to answer the question that I have been receiving to why I’ve not been releasing any podcast episodes. But also what’s going to happen to the podcast in the future. So the reason why there has been no podcast was because I took a summer break from podcasting. There was too much going on back then when I uploaded my last episode sometime before summer. And then sometime in summer, I just realized something and I was being very honest with myself that I’ve taken on a bit too much now, and I need to rearrange how I do things. But I also need to really focus on this work-life balance that I’ve been trying to get for several years now, but I’m not managing.
And that all think is going to happen by me adding more things to my schedule. And the truth is I love my podcast because I find it to be a very personal and intimate space because this type of content usually doesn’t really fit on YouTube. So here I can really get personal with you, which I love. So this podcast is very holy for me in many ways, but the truth is, is that it doesn’t work for me to have it weekly. So for this reason, I have decided that the podcast is going to continue. Yes, but not as a weekly podcast, unfortunately. For now, because of the way my life is because of my structure with everything. I cannot take time for it on a weekly basis because you know, YouTube is my priority. Every Sunday upload a YouTube video. And that takes a tremendous amount of time.
So it’s just very hard for me to juggle both things right now, but this doesn’t mean that there is no chance for this podcast to come back as a weekly thing in the future. In fact, I am planning for making it a weekly thing again in the future. I just don’t know when, but for now it’s going to be an occasional podcast. So once in a while, I will upload episodes. As today. We have an episode, I don’t know when the next episode will be uploaded, who knows, but you will be able to find out if you are subscribed to this podcast. And also if you are following me on Instagram, where I do upload the notifications on my Instagram stories, every time we upload a new episode. So make sure you follow Anna Bay on Instagram, but ladies, I have two more updates for you before we start the chit chat I had with Susie.
And the first update is about the free workshop that I’ve just released. So it’s called “10 brutal mistakes that show you not elegant and how to fix the mistakes.” And basically I’ve gathered 10 really common mistakes of elegance that I see people do everywhere. And I want you to have a headstart in your transformation and in your level up. So for this reason, I invite you for this one hour that you will get to spend with me. Where we will go through those 10 mistakes and you will be able to instantly after the workshop apply these and correct these mistakes. And as I just mentioned, this workshop is free, but it’s also a limited edition workshop, meaning that it is going to go away. So if you don’t want to miss it, I think now is a good time for you to sign up. You go to 10elegancemistakes.com and sign up and you will get your invite via email.
Now, last update before we start with today’s interview is actually a little local shout out for any one who is based in Geneva, where I live in Switzerland or nearby, meaning that you can easily get to here. So I’m looking for ladies who would be interested in being featured in some of my content. Then email my assistant on email@example.com. So it’s firstname.lastname@example.org, send us an email and we might get in touch with you. Now, ladies, that was all of today’s updates from me. Now let’s begin the chit chat I did with Susie Moore. Sorry, ladies. Just one more thing. I just realized after I had recorded everything is that I never mentioned the name of Susie’s book, and I don’t want to confuse you as we’ll be talking in this interview about “Let It Be Easy”. And “Let It Be Easy” is the name of Susie’s book and also the name of her kind of methodology. So now, you know what we’ll be referring to when we say, let it be easy, but now let’s finally start the interview.
How are you?
How are you?
Oh, it’s wonderful to see your beautiful face this morning.
Same here. Although the listeners, they only hear us, unfortunately.
It’s so long. It’s good to catch up with you.
I agree. There is nothing like a good conversation between two women talking about all things. Am I right?
Exactly. Now I wanted to actually ask you because you know, not everybody knows that we actually have met quite a few times in person by now. Do you want to share with my listeners on how we met?
Yes, because I think this is a great story and it shows how new friends can be made as an adult in an easy way. I started watching your videos and I can’t, I don’t know exactly how long ago, but I just loved them. They came up in my feed. I was like, who is this woman? She’s fantastic. So generous with her advice and wisdom. And then soon after I saw the promotion for your webinar, which I joined and it was so value packed and there was so many people on it. I was blown away. I of course joined Secrets of The Elite Women instantly and loved it. Once again, in a world full of, you know, a lot of courses, some that have mixed value, I would say. I couldn’t believe how jam-packed your course was. And so took it, loved it, reached out to you, wanted to interview you. We connected online and it just so happened that a few months later we were both in France at the same time. And we went sipping champagne in St. Tropez. So from a YouTube video to a champagne at the beach, I would say that that is a pretty awesome story. And I hope we do it many more times.
I agree. It’s so cool how we met and you know, the fact that you also, my student, which I was so proud about and, you know. And meeting you in person was also, I mean, I had so much fun with you this summer. We had a blast.
Our husbands got to meet, all of the good things. And I just, you know, I think it really just goes to show that you could really make friends with people who you love, who you admire, and it just requires someone to take the initiative. So why not let it be you?
And this is a thing that what really kind of, I mean, I’ve told you this many times already, but for my listeners who don’t know so Susie is an amazing, amazing networker. She definitely showed her skills in the way that we met, because she literally just reached out .and usually, you know, I don’t really go out and meet everyone who reaches out to me, but, you know, we ended up meeting and I’m so happy with it because we clicked. And our husbands clicked has just like, been so much fun hanging out together. I just like, you know, one of the things that I’ve kind of like noticed about you is how proactive you are and has this something to do with like, letting it be easy or is it like completely different?
Oh yes. You see question, well, “let it be easy” is my mantra. And I think, you know, sometimes just a very simple secret of people who get to be doing half, more of what they want is, you know, we don’t think too much. It’s very easy to get stuck thinking, is this a good idea? You know, what can go wrong? Is this something that it’s risky. Versus just, you know, having an intuitive hit, and then taking action pretty quickly. Under the only action cures fear. And, you know, it’s kind of like that old thing that we regret, the things that we didn’t go for, we regret the things that we didn’t try and, you know, put our hat in the ring for. So I always just think there’s really nothing to lose.
No, I agree with you. I mean, I also go back to this question on networking a bit later, because first I want to actually talk a little bit about just like the basics about Susie Moore. Because perhaps some of my listeners haven’t met you yet, and this is the first time. So let’s just go through some like really basic, like, hello, are you, where are you from? Where do you live?
Yes, I am in Miami, I’ve been in the states for 12 years, 10 years in New York before that Australia, my husband’s Australian, but I’m originally from the UK. So I have a bit of a hybrid accent. And I work in the US as a author, as an advice columnist, I have online programs like you do. And I’m obsessed, obsessed with helping people reach their potential by becoming more confident. And by, you know, really not over-complicating their life and finding easier, quicker, more joyful ways to get to that end goal. And really this could apply to anything. And so the work that I do is largely, you know, advice-based, and I feel as if like the potential that exists within everyone, that’s dormant within everyone. And that’s really our only obligation in our lifetime. I mean, there’s, of course to be loved, to take care of others… But I feel like being able to understand what our purpose is, what our goals are, what our desires are, trusting them and allowing them to be fulfilled is our number one job, you know?
And I feel like you have done that. And that’s kind of what led you to where you are, because you have pretty much leveled up your career, haven’t you?
Can you tell us a little bit about that?
Yes. My background is in tech. I was in the Silicon valley tech world for over 10 years. I love that. I mean, I think that it’s really wonderful to have you know great carrier as an employee. A lot of people say, you need to have a business. You need to start a business. And look, there’s a lot of virtue and benefits in that. But I started out in the tech world and I, you know, I moved to New York when I was 25 and I had no friends, no connections, nothing, not even a college degree. And just by using my kind of networking skills, believing in myself, focusing on my strengths, I was able to get a couple of really great job offers. And then from there, like, you know, you get starts and you get in the door, you prove yourself. And then at the age of 30, I was making half a million dollars a year.
What a level up, congratulations.
I can tell you. I can tell you elegance is part of it, always trying. Always wearing pearls. And I can also tell you, your elegance course has been a huge level up for me too. And people have noticed, and I’ll always be thankful to you for that.
I’m happy to hear that. And what’s even more amazing is that you have recently written your third book, right? Congratulations, what a great achievement. And I’ve read the book and I absolutely loved it. And I really want to talk about the book today with you, because we just touched upon earlier the phrase kind of “let it be easy”. It has like, it’s the one of your signature mantras, isn’t it?
Oh, yes. Because, Anna, who teaches us to let things be easy.
Well, nobody, but when did it come to you? I mean, how did you discover, let it be easy? Like what’s the backstory to that.
Yeah. So when I grew up, I had like a lot of chaos, right. There was, we were constantly moving. We grew up on welfare. We even moved in domestic violence shelters, me and my mom and my sister. And I remember when I was a kid, I thought to myself, you know, this is like, this isn’t ideal. Right? I still have some friends that I had in different schools. I went to and they had a regular house, you know, regular parents, they stayed put, they didn’t have the constant, unpredictable life that we had. And I thought to myself, oh, so when I’m at the grownup, I’m going to get a good job and marry a nice normal person who treats me really well. And then everything’s going to be easy, right? So this might be kind of different. And like, you know, where I’m living right now, even as a kid has a lot of change.
And it feels like not very steady, but when I grow up, I’m going to fix that because I’m going to get a great job and I’m going to have a nice normal marriage. And then I managed to acquire those things, right. I work hard to achieve those things. And then I realized, you know, when I kind of got the nice job, got the nice husband, it still wasn’t easy. I was still stressing myself out. I still have this kind of low level anxiety. I always felt like there was something for me to be doing better. I needed to control certain things. And then I thought to myself, when does the ease kick in, like, when does a good part of life like really kick in? Because I checked the list of what I thought I’d need, and it’s still, I’m still not feeling this ease, joy, relaxation.
And so I just became obsessed with understanding what ease really is. And real presence is and authentic joy. And it turns out that it’s just a skill, like any other, any other skill you have to learn. And it’s very underrepresented. I joke sometimes, Anna, ease needs a good lawyer because everywhere everyone tells you that life is hard, right? Making money, not having money is hard. Having a having kids is hard. Not having kids is hard. Making friends is hard. Not having friends is hard. It’s like, where’s the ease. So this is why I’m obsessed with making ease, just available, available.
But so did you have to like embark on some form of spiritual journey? Or did you have like a trauma that like just like shook you up and made you have this aha moment that you know what I’m done of over-complicating my life.
Yes. Yes. It was. Well, I think the, the best part of self-help is when we stop lying to ourselves, right. Sometimes we think, oh, like I feel this way because, you know, I’m just busy right now. I feel stressed out right now because it’s my boss or it’s, you know, something that’s troubling me in my life when, if we’re very honest and we observe our lives, we observe our history. We realize that we bring the stress to situations, right. Our energy, our perspective. And it’s actually, this is how I open the book in my introduction. It’s when I had to go to therapy because he was, my husband was so tired of me and my wanting to control him and my inability to relax, be going to a therapist who asked me, could there be an easier way for me to be in my marriage?
That was a real turning point because I knew I didn’t change. I didn’t know if it was going to walk out. I knew that I was difficult to be with. And of course it was difficult for my husband, but it was also difficult for me. Like the enemy, like the enemy was inside the gate. It’s not easy to be stressed out, even if you feel like yet other people don’t benefit other people, you know have the side effects of your anxiety, you experience it the most. The real pain is within you. So I just knew it was something that I had to release. Like it was like I had to release, it was within my power and I just became consuming more and more input. Like whenever I started to I slowly became conscious of the stress I was experiencing day-to-day and when stress came within my body, I would question whether it was real stress or imagined stress. And I would make a decision whether or not I was going to invest my energy in and finding a solution in making sure I could control it or whether I could just step back and their whole, a whole lot. Just be.
Maybe this is a tricky question to answer, but like, how long did it take for you to kind of, you know, overcome all this? Because I know that, especially in psychology issues like this, they tend to take time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They do take time and we get better with practice, but it has to start just with the idea, like just welcoming the idea to see life in a simpler and gentler way, right. Again, no, one’s no one’s advocating for this. Everyone’s like hustle, you know, get there, do the things, what caught up like, and there’s nothing wrong with how work, right. We love to work. And it’s, you know, we’re passionate about what we do, but it’s, I mean, could that be, could that be a gentleness to this? Like could and if you look throughout history, even at the greatest spiritual teachers, you’ll see that they’re not rushed then, or shouting, they’re not aggressive. They’re not defending themselves. They are just peacefully walking forward, like peaceful forward momentum. I can tell you in the therapist’s office, he was like, could that be another way to be, it was like an instant realization that I was being a certain way.
I thought that was the only way. And, and that was being responsible, almost being, you know, anxious. Cause I was, you know preparing for things that could go wrong, but I was like an easy, gentle way that opened like an iron gate. It felt like within me. But then yeah, through practice, through being conscious, even if, for example, something came up you know, at the office I was walking out. If someone made a comment that I could have taken as a criticism, or I saw a couple of my managers meeting and I thought, are they talking about me? Like, is there something, is this something about me? I would just begin to pause and say, you know, is this real, like, is this problem that I’m foreseeing here or this offense I could take, is it something that really requires my energy or even my participation at all? And in a lot of cases, there’s so much that just doesn’t require our emotional energy. And we get only a certain amount of emotional energy per day. So what do you use it well.
So would you say then that like let it be easy is in a way, like, let it go
A lot of it. Yes. Well, the thing is, if it’s out of your hands, if something is out of your hands, the outcome, it deserves freedom from your mind. Yeah. Think about how often we’re like, oh you know, that there’s this problem. I can’t fix it, but let me worry about it for three hours.
Yeah. What a time well spent.
Exactly. But you’ll do it right. And yes, there are some things we can control. We can ameliorate a situation, take some action, make a decision, but in a lot of cases we can’t. So, you know it’s almost insanity to really kind of get in there and worry and freak out and talk to five people about it and blog about it. And dah, dah, dah, dah, when there’s really no part that we can play in it. So wisdom is also knowing when not to be involved and when to just like find some peace and acceptance. Okay.
So as I understand, because obviously I am definitely one of those people who tend to over-complicate things. So, let’s do a little bit of armchair psychology on me. Um so one of the things definitely, I mean, I am like, you know, kind of recovering slash recovered, perfectionist, you know, I still have some bits and bobs to work on. Oh yes. Although I improved quite a lot, you know, over the years in especialty thanks to therapy. But as I understand, like the whole philosophy about letting it be easy, really stems from like perfectionism writer. Could you talk a little bit about that?
Oh yes. Like perfectionism, perfectionism. It’s so hard on the perfectionist.
Yeah. It is like, why do we become perfectionist? And how do we apply this method basically as a recovering perfectionist?
Yes. It perfectionism often it’s perceived as having very high standards and that can be part of it. Right. But perfectionism is really about anxiety, right? It’s about a failure, the judgment about potential failure and perfectionist only ever operate at, you know, a certain percentage of that potential. Because there is a, a level they won’t go past because it’s too risky and also perfectionists typically afraid to ask for help because that can be perceived as a weakness. So the way that I look, if I ever have a perfectionist, like even tendency come up, if something’s important in my work or something important happening in my life, there are three questions I love to ask. If I could feel like the stress arising of I have to do this right. Like this really, this is important. Don’t mess it up. And at three questions are: number one, this interrupts immediately the fight flight freeze response that we have as humans.
The first question is – how serious is this really? And like three breaths. Cause often something will come up and then we’ll see an email, right? Or a comment or a request. And we’ll we’ll have sematic symptoms in the body, right? We’ll start, we’ll notice our heart beating. We’ll have like tunnel vision. We’ll, we’ll just feel tense. So already that can be interrupted with – how serious is this really? And when you think about it, very, very few things are that serious. Right? Very, very few things are not reversible, life and death. Very few things really have an impact on the future and the serious way. So how serious is this really? The way that the brain works because the brain’s number one, number one job is our survival, right? This is the primitive brain. It will take a perceived something coming up as a challenge, as a threat, like a physical threat, which is why we have these physical symptoms.
But if you ask this question, how serious is this? Really? Maybe you forgot something or you missed a deadline, or someone says something mean about you happens all the time, right? Like how serious is this really? – First question. And then if there’s something to do, these are the following two questions. What is essential here? So I can give you an example. A while ago, someone reached out to me saying, can I have your slides, like your PowerPoint slides for tomorrow? And it was very, it was very unlike me to have an oversight because I’m pretty, like my cabin is pretty scheduled. It wasn’t in my calendar. I did remember that I committed a long time ago, but I forgot that, that I was going to be doing this presentation tomorrow. And so they asked me for my slides and I had nobody in my account if I suddenly had no slides and I wasn’t going to kill myself creating slides within 24 hours.
Cause I love myself too much to stress myself out unnecessarily. Right. So I thought, how serious is this? Okay. It’s a bit of a disappointment to me that I, you know, there was this oversight here, but Hey, I’m human that’s okay. Number two. What’s essential here. Okay. So I’ve committed to an hour tomorrow. The essential thing is that I show up for an hour, right. And I looked at the question, my favorite is always, how can I let this be easy? So I went back to the host and I said instead of doing a presentation, maybe I could just do a Q and A. That way, there’s nothing you can do to prepare. I didn’t tell him that. Right. But I was like, you know, nothing for me to prepare, but I just, the only thing that’s essential is that I’m present and that I show up and I’m just honest. And I give some value. Right?
Why didn’t you have slides. Was it because I don’t know. You didn’t want to?
I just forgot my mind. I mean, I couldn’t breathe. I just forgot that, that part of the commitment. And I forgot that I even made the commitment at all. It wasn’t in my calendar. So instead of freaking out, I mean, it could have gone one of two ways, right? I thought, how serious is this? Not that serious? The only essential thing is that I show up and an easy way to do that is with a Q and A, because I can just like, literally show up five minutes before and answer questions. I could have freaked out, berated myself. So I’m such an idiot, spent all night creating slides at the risk of like, not sleeping, not working out, being crappy at home cause I’ve got this stressful deadline. But like, luckily those questions like bring you back to the truth. And he was like, yeah, QA is a great, he’s like a lot of people don’t want to do them cause they prefer not to be on the spot. And I’m like, oh yeah, that’s cool. Even better. Right. So it worked out really well, but it could have gone a different direction and I could have been stressed out. And then imagine if that happened again, you know, in a few days or something similar. And then you can see how the cycle of stress happens in someone’s life and look for getting something, something, you know, completely being able to oversight on your part will happen. So why not just kind of let it be easier and allow for a creative, good outcome.
So I’m going to continue with my armchair psychologist session. I just confess that, you know, I am a recovering perfectionist, but what’s also one of my kind of weaker parts about me or my kind of negative parts. I would say. Isn’t the fact that I can be, you know, a little bit disorganized at times kind of, you know, the person who wings it pretty much a last minute. In fact, this interview, I definitely lack of easy. I mean, I’m embarrassed to admit it and it’s not, you know, something that I’m proud of, but I was poorly prepared. I kind of like, you know, threw together some questions that really last minute, and this is usually how I work, which I hate. And I am trying to change this. And I’m thinking about this a little bit with regards to letting it be easy, because it’s causing me a lot of anxiety, you know, working like this, I make it work somehow, but I still feel that I’m doing kind of a hot, like a half good job, if that makes sense, you know, and that’s giving me the anxiety. So I feel like I could do so much better if I was just better organized. So what advice would you give me in this situation?
Anna Bey – miss one-million-subscribers, always looking. So generous showing up. I mean, truly Anna, I don’t know anyone as generous as you with how much content you create, how consistently on such a clean, regular schedule with your periodic perfect offers. I mean I see a complete disconnect from how you see yourself and how I see you.
You know, that’s probably the perfectionist stepping in now and talking a little bit, but I’m serious. I, I do this quite a lot.
So. Okay. Why is it like, what is it, is it true that in order to create and to be at your highest level, you need to be really organized, like as a creative, as a creative person?
Hmm. Maybe not. It’s true actually am, but I feel like I could, if I was just like more prepared, more rehearsed, you know, really like went into the details of everything, you know, turned every stone upside down then that I would find gold, basically.
I think you already are gold. Truly. I mean, but you know I’ve worked with a lot of creatives, right? Different creatives and different fields. The organization piece is where the team comes in. Right. I actually remember an interview with Lady Gaga and she said: “I’ve created a life where people come in and actually just baby me”, like she’s handled. Right? So like what to eat, what to wear, get the flight is in three hours, you have to get ready now. It’s not her job to be so into the details and fine tuning, every single thing and get it, you know, taking care of the full 360 picture, her job is to create, right. Her job is to show up and to entertain and to be herself. And that’s perfect. Right? So like, what if that’s just perfect. I mean, Anna if you in Excel, spreadsheets looking, you know, doing all the specific, you know, let me schedule my calendar so perfectly. There’s even a 15 second, you know, would you be able to be you. And cause truly out of the content that you’ve created, I’ve told you this, I don’t know anybody else doing it. Like it’s so original. It’s so fresh. You see what other people don’t see. And I mean, to be so perfectly organized, I mean that would be something, I mean, maybe that’s something that you never need to judge yourself for or never even require.
All right. I’m going to start being kinder with myself. I’m going to cut myself some slack and I’m going to be practicing Let it be easy. But
Oh, I would just think Anna, if you were so organized, do you think that that would really create a significantly different outcome or do you think it might make you feel just a little bit more calm? I mean, do you think that you’d leap inbound 500% forward with more organization or like truly like truly, if you look at it.
I think you’ll have a point. It would, it would maybe just make me like calm my nerves or like make me feel better. But I don’t think, I mean, it’s definitely, wouldn’t be kind of who I am. Because I am this Aries, you know, this creative person who yes. You know, not perfect at all. Will be a bit disorganized and my husband hates that, cause he is a total opposite. It’s you know, it’s who I am, although I can improve.
Perfect person. Who’s so organized, so together, so pristine with their appearance. I mean, show me that positive. Like I’ll give you a billion dollars. Like they, they don’t exist. And if you even think that someone like a celebrity or someone who you maybe admire look up to in any, you know, in life, you’ll see, they have help. And there are areas of their life. You just look at the good bits, right? Like, oh, they’re always on time. They’re always perfectly prepared with their speeches, but you have no idea. They can’t cook. They may be can’t sleep. They probably are letting their friends down. Like we all have our stuff. So I think letting it be easy, it’s just not resisting and allowing ourselves to really go into our strengths. And like the rest could be just what it is.
That is so true. But what about like when, cause I’m sure letting it be easy can go to an extreme when you become neglective, when you become maybe not the best version of yourself, let’s put it this way.
Yeah. I mean, but you know, I mean, it’s interesting. This question has come up before where it’s like, can you let it be too easy? Like, can you become too chill? Can you come to chill? And you like lose your edge almost, you know? And it’s so interesting. Right? How that’s, that’s how we fear that. Like if, unless I’m a little bit stressed out all the time, I won’t do it. I won’t do the things.
But I mean, I guess like when you, when you become so chill that you become negligent and that you don’t care. And then like whatever happens and then you become, and then you start achieving less and then you turn into the slacker, who knows.
So it’s interesting. Right? That being an idea, unless I’m some, unless I’m feeling like there’s some stress in my body. And unless there’s stress in my body, I’m going to turn into an absolute loser. Right? Like I’m just gonna siton my sofa and like play video games. And like maybe we don’t need stress to motivate us. I mean someone I was working with someone a long time ago and she was like, unless I’m really hard on myself, I won’t lose weight. And I remember I said to her, I’m like, you’ve been holding yourself for years. Like how is that working? Like, is that working? And sometimes we think, unless I’m, you know, hustling, unless there’s this energy that I have, that’s like urgency and got to get it done. We think that we’ll just like melt and there’ll be like this, you know, there’ll be this horrible consequence. Whereas when we remove stress, our mind opens up, the centers of our brain expand. We don’t need the stress as this constant accompaniment to what it is that we’re doing. And we’ll often find too. And probably you notice this when you’re in the zone, in the flow and stress isn’t present in your body. That’s how you do your best work.
That is true. So what I, what understanding it as basically it’s good to be proactive because we need to be proactive in order to achieve our goals in order to achieve success, level up, whatever we want to do in life. But it doesn’t have to be this constant struggle or intense hustle. And you have to, you know, I don’t know, hit your head against the wall or something like that. Is that what you were saying?
Yes. And just say, there are two people with the exact same goal, right? Just say two people, both wanting to, I don’t know, be on television, right? Like there say there are two people who are doing the exact same action, right? So pitching the media, coming up with ideas, et cetera. If one’s doing it with stress and one’s doing it without stress, the actions can look the same. Right? It’s like emailing research coming up with ideas, brainstorming the person without stress will have better ideas. And they’ll take action more quickly because they haven’t got the blocks. So I say, I mean, in my experience, experiences showed me that when you remove like the bricks from your back, you’d like to just take the weight off, you actually get to a goal faster. So it’s almost like, and it’d be easy is like a, it’s like a real, superpower.
It’s not like, okay, chill out. And everything’s there’s nothing to do anymore. It’s like, what things do you have to do are exactly the same, but they just happen more quickly and they happen with more joy. And this way you also get proof your life. Because at what point in your life kind of like me, I was waiting for the ease to kick in. Like, it’s something that you have to choose every step because it’s never, it’s never just going to be like one day. Okay. Today’s the day I get to relax. Cause it’s cause I’m good now. It’s it has to be something that we choose instead and then allow the good things to flow from there.
I think that kind of makes sense because when we are just hustling and doing it the hard way we are losing energy, like you’re saying, but when we are like allowing the journey to be easy, it actually energizes us. And that’s why probably we move faster because we’re not afraid.
Yes. And we see opportunities, you know, how often our best ideas come to us unexpectedly. Like if you’re driving or in the shower. There’s no stress. So imagine if like that it were more of a constant state, you’ll see opportunities. You’ll spot ideas that you wouldn’t otherwise because with stress we shut down and we’re just, we’re not even in the moment. So in the moment that can come to us.
So obviously, you know what it is that I teach is modern elegance. And a lot of the ladies I find sometimes over-complicate elegance as well. How can they apply your formula of letting it be easy with elegance? Yeah. But you know the overall mindset I’m talking about it.
Yes. Yes. I feel as if I’m maybe a struggle with elegance or allowing more elegance in is that, and this would be my, this, this would be my guess of what an emotion would be would be that maybe that’s, that’s not for me or that isn’t available me. Like there are some ladies who are elegant or there are some ladies who have you know, the special gifts or special looks or special access. And I mean, you really debunk all of those things, right? Like you show us what’s available to anyone and you even talk at different budget levels and you talk, you know, wherever you all living in a small town, living in a big city. Wherever you are with what you have, there’s something that you can do. Right. So sometimes I think, you know, it’s easy to go. I need to be just like Anna, I need to be all the way, you know, all the way ahead. Whereas there are just small things that we can do all the time. Like I would actually, I’d love to ask you if someone’s like, oh, I don’t know if I can be elegant. I’ve never thought about it, but I’d love it. But it feels out of reach. Like, what are your just two or three favorite things to start with wherever you are with what you have?
I think it’s definitely what you’re saying. I think you nailed it because it’s really all about understanding that first of all, there isn’t one set formula to elegance. And honestly anyone can become elegant and elegance come in all kinds of sizes shapes or forms, and all cultures and countries, you know. So you don’t have to think that this is a set formula that only some can apply and that that’s it. No, you can take whatever, you know, you want from, for what kind of applies to you in your life. Right. And do your own little mix of elegance. There are no rules. Let it be easy. You see, you already converted me. But what do you think often happens in life when we don’t allow things to be easy? Like what are the side effects of
We can, we can identify when we’re not letting things be easy based on how we feel. So if we feel heavy, if we feel anxiety, if we feel frustration, if we feel even sad, even sadness, all emotions are like this incredible, direct, real time feedback to us about what we’re thinking, because you know, our beliefs drive our thinking, right. And then now thinking our thoughts directly impact our actions. I mean our emotions and our emotions create actions and our actions, they all life. Right. So it all starts with our thinking. So if there’s a situation where we’re frustrated, for example, the way that I would think about it, if I’m feeling frustration, it’s like a tense, horrible feeling of being almost like stuck in that moment. Right. I would think, okay, what is this situation? Like? What is this situation before me? What’s like, how am I perceiving it?
Right. So just say someone lets me down and I’m going to get a bit of a pickle because I expected something from that person. Okay. So I feel some frustration in the moment, like what, you know. Okay. How does it feel? It doesn’t feel good. Right? My body doesn’t feel good. What am I thinking about this situation? Often the thought will be someone owes me. This shouldn’t happen. This should be different. Right. And knowing that the only thing I can control as in any situation is what I’m giving or what I’m doing. If I can release the need to control or judge what someone else has decided to do to me, for me, against me then like what can show up? Like what can show up instead? Like how could I be easier about this? How could I look at this frustration?
I feel it right. They just keep over it. We’re humans. We want to feel our emotions. It’s even helpful to say I’m feeling frustrated right now. Identify it. And then even give it like a number out of 10. Like how frustrated, like I’m an, I’m a 10 frustrated or like I’m a seven or an eight. Like you, you feel it for feel it to heal it. Right. So you feel it, you look at it. Okay. What am I options right now? In fact, even just asking that question, what are my options? When we realize we have more options, this is when our freedom kicks in, right? Like whenever we realize we have more options than we realize, we, we feel free and this is where all creativity and power come back. So what are my options? Already that question is good because the brain responds so good.
So well to prompt, right? So even in a situation where you feel like something is wrong, if you say, if you ask yourself instead, instead of saying, what’s wrong, like, what’s the problem here? Like, how do I identify it? You can say what’s missing here. What options do I have? If you ask good questions, just so you get good answers. And these it’s easier. It’s just easier to do this. So you can feel your emotions truly. That doesn’t work for long. It only results in long-term resentments later. You feel it, you look at it. And it’s just like asking questions, like what’s missing here, what am I options? Now, when you also ask questions, you see what becomes available to you.
And what about when, you know, ladies or people in general, they want to level up in life, just like you did. They don’t want to be in that in that cubicle anymore. They want to have their own business, become successful, they want to jet-set around the world, live the dream life, have an amazing husband and just, yeah. Letting things be easy, but how can they level up when it just feels so overwhelming when they sit there in their cubicle and they look at this really long journey ahead to where Susie Moore is right now, let’s say? If they use you as an example. How to do it, how like where to do it, where to start?
It’s a great question, because we can often look at people who are farther ahead in an area we’d like to be successful in. And it does feel overwhelming and it feels so far off. And it feels like it’ll take so long to get there. And it can, we could feel defeated and just turned off and well, the truth is this, right? Whether or not something takes a long time, the time’s going to pass anyway.
I find it really motivating. I remember I was speaking to a waitress once. And she was like, I want to go to design school, but it will take four years. And we had a good we’re having this chat. And I was like, well, in four years you will either be doing what you’re doing now, or you’ll be doing what you’re doing now with a design qualification, which will allow you to enter the kind of field that you want. The four years are going to pause with or without your design commitment. So how, like, how do you want to be at the end of four years? Right? Success is simply a series of small wins. Right? We don’t wake up different. Right? We don’t wake up. Like I’ve got all the things now. It’s like, one step forward, one step forward, following one person, and taking one tip, applying it, taking action once.
I mean, when you think about really, I mean, if even look at it in business, it’s not like you make one decision and the millions flow, right? It’s like you make one decision, add to it, add something else, maybe remove something, take a new action to create a collaboration, look for some type of advanced formula for something. It happens gradually, right. Just in life I think that we need to even accept that. Some things take time, some things take time. Where’s the pressure. Like, where’s the rush, like, look at nature, nature, isn’t rush and everything gets done. Right. Everything gets done. So I feel like we can look at it instead of, you know, the goal that we have. It’s just a series of small steps. That’s it.
But what about when, as an example? So this is kind of, again, a little sample of my personal struggles, you know, just like anyone else. I have a to-do list every day and my, to do list, never shrinks in size, no matter how many people I hire, no matter how many things I do, no matter how well I worked that day, it just never shrinks. What am I doing wrong with my life?
And this is actually one of my favorite chapters in let be easy. I call my to do list my get to do list.
Ah, what’s that? Can you share that?
Yes. So at the top of my journal, isn’t really a journal, but my list every day, instead of saying to do, as I say, get to do, right. So I’ll be like, I mean, maybe Anna you could share even randomly like three things on your to-do list. Any.
Okay. Film my YouTube video. That one is over due already. I’m waiting. I’m waiting. And where’s this video. What else is it that I have to do? Yes. I have some phone calls I need to make. What else? Okay. Let’s just start with those two.
Share some of mine too. So okay. So create a YouTube video. That’s on your get to do list. Cool, you get to create a YouTube video! Because you have such incredible ideas to share because you have over a million people who are waiting for your next video. Because you have the setup and the resources and the ability to create content.
Seeing it from a different perspective than what you’re seeing it as.
Yes. I mean, truly I did this the other day. I had to go to the OB GYN doctor. I’m like, oh, I don’t want to go. And I was like I get to go to the doctor at two o’clock because I have access to healthcare as a woman. Not every woman has that. Right. And so even if I’m like, I’ve got to get to FedEx to return my “rent the runway” system that we use in the U S. It’s because I have a lovely, quite luxury membership, you know, it’s like, oh, I’ve got to get to bed. I go to the doctor. Like, oh, I’ve got to send a report to my friend who did a promotion with me and I’ve got to get that report. It’s like, yeah, I’ve got really cool influential friends who promote my products.
I’ve got a cool rent membership. I’ve got a doctor who I get to see whenever I want, without any delays, without any struggle, because I have access to healthcare. Those phone calls you have to make, I mean, I’m not sure there is, but maybe it’s with your accountant. Cause you you’ve got that amazing resource. Maybe it’s with like a designer. He happened to be, I don’t know, having a cool conversation with amazing access to somebody. So it’s like, probably five years ago I would look at that list and go – I get to create a video! I get to speak to these people on thae phone.
Oh gosh. I mean, this is amazing. I actually never thought about it. Thank you for planting that aha moment in me because you’re right. As you were telling me, I was thinking about my to-do lists. Like, is there really anything I truly hate doing and really despise and feel so terrible in doing. And no. I mean, even like maybe some mundane task, like, you know, putting your inbox to zero is not super exciting, but I’m actually enjoying all these things.
And Anna too. When we think about it, like again, sometimes we never even think about this, but we’ve chosen it. Right. We’ve chosen it because we want it. And even overwhelmed. Overwhelmed is used all the time. Right. This expression “I’m overwhelmed”. Overwhelmed could be a stress response to a lot of things going right. You know? So it’s like, I’ve got three people to interview. Yeah, because you’ve got a new position that you want to hire. I’ve got to prepare my TV interview. Yeah. Because you want to be on that show. So we’ve chosen, what a powerful, what a powerful, delicious realization.
I like it. So basically let that perspective energize you rather than drain you when you look at this to do list.
Look at my YouTube. I was sitting in your shoes right now. I’ll be like: “Oh, so many people are going to watch this video!” Like lucky me. I have all these eyes on me and I get to help them. Like what a blessing, like what a privilege for me. Well, my video, you’ll step in with a completely different energy and probably even your outcome and your flow state will just come. Like it will be, it’ll be easier and better for you.
It’s true. Because the way I see it as like. Oh, I don’t know if I’m going to make it on time. Now my team is going to get annoyed because I’m, you know, again, late with this and you know, it’s all chaotic and disorganized. And you know, all of that makes me almost start procrastinate and I’m not like getting it done. It’s just stupid vicious circle sometimes, that makes no sense.
It’s so funny. But like, I would guess anyone that can identify a situation in their life when this has happened. Like, it’s pretty rare that I’m late because I’m just, for me being on time, I’ve made the decision that that’s really easy for me. I’m always on time. That’s just easy. Right. That’s a decision. And so if I’m not on time, just say that something happens or, you know, there’s like a crisis that I have to handle quickly before I go somewhere. If I’m rushing and I’m late, I don’t get my keys, and then I spill something on myself. It’s then, you know, maybe I step out into the road and someone beeps a mix. I’m not paying attention. Right. With the stress, like the stressful idea that we’re late, there something’s wrong, it creates a stressful journey. Right. So when we already kind of ease up a little bit on ourselves and go look, okay, so just say you’re late. And you’re like, my team’s going to be worried. And my team’s going to be upset or whatever. What have you just thought? I’m a little late. They used to me. I’m a little late. And nothing. We’re still going to get it done today.
So I, I really like, you know, I love, I love your mindset. I love how positive you are. I love the perspective. You have done so much work on yourself and it’s so inspiring. And you have inspired me so much with the whole “let it be easy” mindset. And you know that behind the scenes, things that were spoken about. But what about like, I’m sure you have days when you’re like, oh, I can’t with this “let it be easy”. Not today. Like I’m not there. I’m not there mentally today. Do you have those days?
Oh, yes. When I’m crabby. When I’m just crabby and I just like want to start a fight with my husband and I just want to order like a greasy burger. And even there’ll be days where I even just look at people I don’t like online and go like, “Oh!” It’s not that often. But when I do have days like that, I let myself enjoy them.
Let it be honest.
Truly. If I have a crappy day, I’m just like, you know what? I’m not going to resist it or try and go: I feel great. I feel great. I feel great. Like that’s not honest. I know it, my body knows it. But I could be like, you know, what’s wrong with me just watching TV today and having some junk food and feeling a bit miserable. It’s not going to last, you know, nothing’s permanent, right? Everything’s fleeting, all emotions or moods. So if I have like a real downer crappy mood, I’ll even say, like, to keep my husband, I’ll say, you know what? Today just write me off. I’m not in a good mood. Just go play golf, do whatever. Like just don’t expect too much from me today. And I give herself permission. And then interestingly, when I drop any resistance to my crabbiness, it kind of goes away faster.
And how long do usually these crappy days last for you?
Probably so sometimes I’ll have a crabby hour or two, and then I’ll just bounce back. Especially if I get busy doing something else by distracting myself, or if I have a commitment to be somewhere or do something. But maybe just typically one day or two days. Not too much, not too much longer than that, but I enjoy those.
I love it. Listen, I want to circle back to this thing that I was talking to you about in the beginning about networking, because you are a stellar networker. And if my audience only knew the things that I know, and I feel so lucky about it. You know, we’ve, we’ve spent some time together. And so, because you truly are very inspiring and doing so many levels and I’ve learned a lot from you, Susie. And how did you make networking to be so easy for you?
Oh, I love networking, right. Well, okay. This is how I think about it. I mean, networking, even as a term has a bit of a negative connotation sometimes, right? It’s like you imagine that these business dudes with like briefcases at like a cocktail event with business calls. Like how can I network get to get into my business like that? That’s going to make it sometimes how we perceive it, like getting pushy or selling stuff. And I see it completely differently. I think networking is just connecting with fellow humans with whom you have something in common. And that is isn’t that like the joy of life, like relationships making new friends.
It’s all joyful until you get rejected by the person.
Oh, I can tell you. I know I get rejected all the time. Oh, it means nothing to me, zero. Like truly I get rejected all the time, all the time. Well, if I’m reaching out, if especially if I’m, you know, reaching out to present myself as something or if there’s an opportunity. Oh, absolutely. Anytime I do that, like right now I’m in this kind of negotiation for a big media piece and it can go, it can go really well my way or they can just completely reject it. So I don’t know today. I’ll probably know today. But what’s wrong with being rejected?
Well, at some point you must have felt like affected a little bit, especially in the beginning when you didn’t have this experience of being rejected almost everyday.
Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So when it comes to like a rejection, like what I love to ask, if someone fears it is like, what does it mean to you? Like, what are you making it mean? Right. So just so you know, I reached out to you. And I’m like – Gosh, I love your post. Can I interview you? And you said, didn’t respond ever. I would still follow up. Just say you didn’t respond at all. I typically follow up two times. So just, you didn’t respond. I follow up. Just say, didn’t respond again. I’d follow up one more time. And then maybe I’d even follow up again after that, if I felt like it. What would that, what would I then make that mean? Would it mean that I’m not worthy? Like, would it mean that I’m an idiot? Like would it mean that I’m, I dunno, stupid, unlikable, not interesting? Like, would any of those things be true? Just because maybe you’re really busy doing something or you’re engaged doing other projects or who knows? I don’t know what’s going on in your life. Right? If I don’t you,
I don’t know you. Like, imagine if I didn’t respond to you in the end, whatever, for whatever reason that if I wouldn’t respond to you, but I don’t know you.
Exactly. Oh, it must be because she thinks that she must think that I’m so boring, and I’m so dumb, and I’m so useless. And she sees the inside of my soul, and you know, it just shows how worthless I am. I mean, what a nonsense story, like, I’m just a name in an inbox. So first name and last name in an inbox. So how can I make it mean that I’m worthless or that I’m not interesting or not good enough? Like, that would be my own addition. That’d be my own narrative. So I know that people are rejecting me. They’re just rejecting an opportunity. The timing is bad often. I mean, when you really get to know people too, I can tell you that, you know, people reach out to me a lot as well. And sometimes I’m like, I’m just trying to like, not burn the one chicken meal that I’m making this year right now. But imagine if someone was like, she rejected me. Like, I always knew she thought she was better than me. Oh, she thinks she’s… It’s like, no, I’m just trying to knock on the chicken right now. And also I’m worried about my mom, and also you know, my dog’s puking over there. And also it’s like, it’s only the ego can be offended.
Yeah. And I just put like, truly, because it’s not nice to be rejected. It’s not like, yes. What do you think about it? Like if I didn’t put myself out there, I don’t ask. I’m always getting a no, it’s always – no. You don’t ask the answer’s always – No. So why would I just allow that to be good? Like, why would I accept that? I, I can tell you that everything good that I proactively sort out and that’s really, most of it, has been proactive on my part, has been because I’m willing, I’m willing to be uncomfortable.
Yeah. I think that is your superpower. You are at this point, maybe rejection proof. And that gives you the confidence to just slide into people’s DMs left, right, and center. And like, no, but really, as a result, because I know obviously a lot you know of the things you share with me, and it’s just so interesting. Because things, how can I say connections are easier to access than we think. And people don’t realize it. But you know about this. Tell me more about it.
Oh, people are people. They want connection too? I mean, and often we don’t try. We never even try, which is good news. Most people don’t try, which is good news for us who do try because it’s not that crowded. I won’t even remember who I’ve reached out to in the end. You know, only the people who’ve said yes, really. I know that if I’m in the arena, if I’m going for it, there I only have something to gain. There’s only something to gain there. And I mean, like what’s the alternative, like protecting myself or thinking that I’m protecting myself. I think it’s really risky not to network. I think that you make life really hard. You got to go it alone, figure it out alone. Like go through life together. It’s so much more fun and people need, people want you to,
It’s true. But you know, there’s also like this other element. So the other are those people who are like fear of rejection. And then those people, I think who believe that, well, if I’m reaching out to people, then like I lose kind of value, not value in the way, but you know, it’s like, like I am the loser, then who’s reaching out. I’m not saying, you are. You know, this perception that, okay, people have to come to me, then I’m like worthy or I feel good about myself basically.
Yeah. So it’s like, the idea could be, I’m a needy one. Who’s like, I’m the one who like needs you and you. Can I please have your attention? I see it completely differently. I see that I’m a proactive one reaching out. I’m the one who’s confident. Like, I’m the one, someone has to take the initiative. Right. And it’s the initiative takers in this world to get everything. And so I sometimes think, look, even in I know that everyone has a bit of a different philosophy about this. But even when I met my husband, I introduced myself to him. And I always kind of gave the grace of like men. Man isn’t just confident because he’s a man. I can be willing to say hello. And then he can do all the hard work after that.
Right. But what, like, what’s it, to me, I feel like if I feel like really proud to be a confident action taker, because it just shows that I know my work because I’m not holding back. I’m not, I’m second guessing it, I’m not overthinking. I’m just having an instinct and intuition and then just following it. And that’s really all I can do. And I think that when other people are proactive with me and they approach me in a really considered nice way, I always say, oh, they’re in prep, but they kind of believe in themselves. So that’s kind of impressive. Well, they must, they must have something good going on. If they’re reaching out to me in such a confident way.
Yeah. That is the ultimate confidence. I mean, this is so, so inspiring. And gosh, I could talk to you for so many more hours. I wish we were back in St.Tropez. You know, that beach, drinking rosé in the sun. That was fun.
That was fun. So much fun. We’ll do it again.
How is life going to look for you now in the next.. Well, I guess for the remaining months of the year, gosh, I can’t believe it’s almost the end of the year.
I know it’s so strange, right? Because 2020 was so long, we all complained about how long it was. And then 2021, it was like, bam.
Do you feel like 2020 was almost better than 2021?
We slowed down. There was a slowing down that happened last year, which was really necessary for a lot of people, like a reset on how we live and taking stock on what we want. And we’ve seen a lot of changes right, in society since. You know, people making decisions about how they want to walk and what they value. So I think that there were some, you know, certainly some learning from last year this year, I feel like, you know, we’re finding our way a bit. Like we’re still kind of finding our way, but there’s little optimism heading into a new year. I feel really excited about the new year. I feel like a lot of good things happening. And I think people are kind of clear on what they want. And clarity is a very good thing because it means that we stopped kind of waiting, stop, you know, hoping something will change. We drive change from the inside. So we’re excited. I don’t know about like what, you know, what can change, what can happen? And I mean, yeah. I mean, who knows, all we can do is really be in the moment.
How do you feel about this?
Well, I am, you know, I feel like 2021, although we thought it was going to be so much better than 2020, I still thought it was an up and down year, actually. Especially, you know, the first parts of the year, I think was a bit rough with all the lockdowns and everything. But fingers crossed that now we are kind of leaving that a little bit behind us and we’re not going back to that whole energy and that whole thing, no more lockdowns, please.
Yeah. So I’m really praying that 2022 is going to finally be the year that we can all make a comeback.
I hope so. I hope so. And again, I mean, I just leave, come back to what I can control the options that I have. And it’s always great to remember, let it be easy.
And let it be honest .
So now you’re gonna continue your book tour, right?
Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Let it be easy is officially out November 9th in US. It’s a little bit different in other markets, but yeah, it’s my most exciting project and I really, really hope this message in, even in one life area. I mean, if something, if something is difficult in your life right now, that could, and it could be made easy. Like what would that be worth to you? Like whatever, like whatever you’re struggling with. And I speak about so much in the book, like money, divorce, female friendships, but not defending yourself on social media, all sorts of things like, well, there’s something that could be made easier. I, I know that this is something that we’re worthy of experiencing in our lives, ease in areas that we haven’t really thought of before.
That’s a good one, but where can people go and find and buy your book?
Well, it’s available everywhere books are sold, but there are some extra goodies if you head on over to LetItBeEasyBook.com.
Nice. Well, Susie, thank you so much for joining. I really had an amazing time this hour that we spend together and, you know, I even had some of my own aha moments that I actually never thought about before. So I can really rest assured those ladies who are listening right now, that if you read, since this book, you’re going to have loads of aha moments and, you know, just to kind of finish off about the book. It has really influenced me. And it’s, it’s really with me on an everyday basis because, you know, I have some things in my personal life that you Susie are aware of, that I’m really trying to apply this mindset of letting it be easy. And I feel like it’s really working and I am progressing forward. And I’m so excited about what the future holds. So yeah, I can’t wait.
Well, thank you. I could speak to you for about five years. So thank you for this lovely out together. What a joy for me.
Thank you, Susie.
Now ladies. That was it for today. I hope you have enjoyed this interview. If you want to get a copy of “let it be easy”. You can find it on Amazon, but you can also go to Susie’s website. It’s susie-moore.com and make sure to read that book. It was wonderful read and I have learned so much from it so I can really, really recommend. Now ladies. I don’t know when we will speak to each other again, via podcast. There will be more episodes as I told you in the beginning. I just don’t know when. So until then, stay safe. Look after yourself. And I look forward to seeing you on my YouTube channel, in my online course, and on my Instagram. Bye for now.
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