Q&A Chit Chat – answering your burning questions!

Podcast Episode 17

Before we start today’s podcast I just needed to quickly jump in here because we, unfortunately, had to release this podcast episode today, Thursday instead of yesterday, Wednesday, because as you’re going to hear inside this episode, there will be technical issues with the sound. And unfortunately, what we had to do was that we had to cut off or cut away half of the podcast episode as this, as this is a Q&A podcast. Um, there were just too many technical issues with the sound that we have to cut out. So just so that you are aware, this is not the full episode. Unfortunately, we couldn’t save the entire episode, but this is what we could do. And I apologize in advance for the sound quality I have to now go and change all my equipment for recording the podcast. Meaning that next week we might not be able to release anything, unfortunately.

So please be aware. I have recorded a bunch of episodes for you that now just go straight to the trash. They’re just not in the quality where I want them to be. And these things are important to me. So please ladies, be aware that this episode is a little bit faulty. I hope, um, you bear with that. So I will get back to you with a new, fresh episode as soon as I have better equipment. Thank you for understanding.

My dear elegant podcast listeners, ladies, welcome to a new week, a new Wednesday, and the new episode today. It’s episode number 17. And you know what, I’m in the mood for? I’m in the mood for casual chit-chat. Yes, ladies today we put the educational podcast episodes on hold, and instead, let’s do a little Q&A where I’m just going to chit chat and answer your questions.

I’m going to talk a little bit about everything and we’re just going to keep it very casual today. That’s my mood. And you know, sometimes because I’m an Aries I do enjoy some variation. I don’t like to just have the same old, same old over and over and over again. I like to break things up a bit. So Q&A podcast it is, and I haven’t actually officially announced it. So what I’m going to do is that I’m going to use the last Q&A that I did on my Instagram stories. And by the way, I do them quite often. And I must say, I really like doing them. They are actually my favorite story concept. I do them sometimes once a week. Sometimes it can even do it twice a week, although that doesn’t happen too often these days. But I also love when other influencers or people do it.

It’s just really interesting. Um, I think we as humans by nature, we are a little bit kind of nosy. So we always like to find out kind of new information about people or get our questions answered about something. But also I think the Q&A’s are so interesting because you know, you get recommendations and tips usually in them and sometimes even some really good advice. So I like this concept and let me know what you think, but I’m happy to incorporate this as a regular kind of content form in my content, plus take it to my podcasts from time to time, I’m going to answer some questions that I didn’t answer on my Instagram in this Q&A, but I will also talk a little bit more in-depth on some questions that I did answer. Okay. So we have a little mix today and, uh, yeah.

Let me just begin. Question number one, did lip permanent makeup hurt more than eyebrow permanent makeup? So for those of you who do not know, I have done a year and a half ago. I did a lip and eyebrow tattoo in London, but then the pandemic happened and I have not been able to go back and do a refill. I must say my eyebrows tattoo, I don’t think there is much left of it. It has faded quite a lot because usually the eyebrows tattoo only lasts one year versus the lip tattoo, I think it’s supposed to last up to two years. Of the lip tattoo, I still have some left, but it’s really not as strong as it was before. So I would love to redo both my lip and eyebrow tattoo as soon as possible. And ladies I’m really hoping. I’m really hoping, hoping that London is going to open up soon without, um, forced quarantine, et cetera, because that’s probably one of the first trips that I’m going to do to London. So I can, um, do a little refresh of my eyebrows and lips. But okay, just to answer the question, I went a little bit on a tangent here. I would say yes, the lip permanence of two does hurt more than the eyebrow, but to be honest, none of them, I would say hurts very badly. Like you can actually relax and sometimes even not drift off to sleep, but you don’t really pay attention to it after a while, plus you get numbing cream, and you just get used to the slight discomfort. That’s what I would actually like to call a slight discomfort, not pain. So it’s totally manageable, but yes, you feel it more on the lips.

Question number two. What are you thinking about the vaccine passports? So I don’t have any strong opinion about the vaccine in that sense. I do think that there’s so much information right now, both from one side who are against the whole of vaccine thing. And then you have those who are very pro-vaccine, and then have kind of so many rumors in the air. Like how is it going to be? What kind of measures are going to be taken? Who, who will be able to travel, who will be able to go to a restaurant? You know, these types of things. There’s so much information out there that is also very contradictive. And I feel a little bit overwhelmed to tell you the truth with all the info. I feel like there isn’t any proper clear guidance on exactly how the future will be looking like. But I do think that this whole process of vaccination is a great thing because that’s the only way we can get some form of normality back.

And I’m happy that we are now in the, in the good process of it. I don’t find the vaccine passports to be a scary thing, especially because I remember when I was, you know, I think I was what 18, 19 when I started my travels and I had the vaccine passport back then when I wanted to go to one of you know, more exotic countries where you had to have certain vaccinations in order to get into those countries. And I had a vaccine passport and I really didn’t see it as a big deal. But now this whole vaccine passport feels like a really big deal and something, you know, we also must be scared of almost. And that’s the thing. I feel that I don’t, I don’t know what to think these days. I really don’t. So I don’t have an opinion, but I’m not against it. That’s, that’s all I can say. I’m just very happy that life can go back to normal, and fingers crossed that what’s currently going on, it’s keeping us safe. The vaccine is safe. And, uh, we are going to look back at this and be happy that things progressed the way they did. That’s all I’m hoping for right now.

The next question is more on the personal level. And I did answer this one in my stories, but I do want to elaborate a little bit more. And there were actually two questions on this subject that I included and it’s about men that cheating. So one of the questions was, do you believe that all men cheat? And then the other question was, let me see where it is. Has any of your ex-s cheated on you and how did you deal with it if that has happened? So first things first. Yes, it has happened to me that exes have cheated on me in the past and more than once. And when I say more than once, I’m saying more than one person, more than one ex basically, and it’s very unfortunate, and it definitely did affect me. I did lose trust in men for some time. And that was very negative towards men for some time as well.

I think that element unfortunately really influenced my love life negatively because I was hurt. I wasn’t dealing with those wounds. I left them to become more infected. I started having confirmation bias. When you, you know, you seek out the information that validates the things that you believe in. That as an example, that all men are the scum of the earth, that all men cheat, that there are no good men out there. I started having this confirmation bias. So as a result, I started seeking out those types of men. And what happened? Well, I definitely wasn’t able to attract my dream type of partner. I was of course, in a relationship, but it didn’t work out. And I just felt like I kept attracting the same type of guy and my love life just didn’t go in the direction where I wanted it to go. So I ended up going to therapy after a while, and it was actually in therapy where I was able to heal this.

And, you know, I told you that it was after I was 10 months in therapy when I met my husband. And I seriously do believe that had I not go into therapy to heal my wounds that I had developed with regards to not trusting men or thinking that everybody’s a cheater. Maybe I wouldn’t have been able to attract my husband as a result. So I do believe that it’s incredibly important to have a mindset where you have healed certain fears and certain issues of certain wounds within you. And many women have been burned by men because to tell you the truth. Yes, there are many men out there who are very selfish, who might be narcissistic, who might only care about themselves, who are cheating or dishonest or mean in some form or another. And we have to heal after being exposed to these types of men.

And it’s not uncommon to meet men like that. So it’s our own responsibility. You might not be able to just heal it by itself with time. Sometimes you need some extra support or professional support to be able to heal those wounds. So that’s something ladies that I do believe is an investment in your future and in your love life. I see far too many women who are, I don’t know, in their late thirties and their forties, or even in their fifties. And they are still not able to sort out their love life. Not because there is something wrong with them. Not because they are not a catch, but because they have wounds that they have not healed, or they have not dealt with jet. And that’s why ladies, I keep pushing this therapy agenda so much on you. I don’t want you to think that I’m this nag. I really don’t want to be nagging this onto you, but it’s just something that has changed my life so tremendously. And I know that it can change many of your lives too. So please, if you feel that this resonates with you, have does think if maybe this could be a solution for you sometime? Oh, and so as for the last question, I have restored my faith in men and I don’t believe that all men cheat, I believe that there are many, many great men out there still.

Next question. Is it okay to have fun in the early twenties, Ibiza lifestyle type of fun, then change later? I mean, I think this is a pretty straightforward question because, you know, I believe that you can change at any time to anything you want to be at any point in your life. And I don’t think it’s such a big deal. And sometimes I wonder why people think that change is something to be frown upon. Like, “Ugh, but you’re just a party girl. Who do you think you are now? Do you think you can play elegant now?” You know, I mean, some people are like that and I don’t really understand those people actually. But anyway, I embraced change. I love change. I love evolving and I believe it’s a wonderful thing that humans can evolve and don’t stay the same. Now with regards to having younger days when you’re a little bit wild and crazy, I believe that there are two types of people really.

And you either are one of those who spent your younger days, partying, being adventurous, doing stupid things, trying things out, you know, et cetera. Or you’re one of those who just didn’t do that. You were very calm, quiet. You were never interested in that type of thing. You may be focused on studying or building a career or maybe even get married early and things like that. And I don’t think honestly, that one is better than the other, both have their perks and both habits minuses. As an example, when you are a party girl, you definitely get loads of fun memories. You get to experience a lot of things. You get to see the world perhaps. You have loads of stories to share with your grandchildren and just, yeah. Loads of experience under your belt. And then you have the one who was quiet while you definitely had a faster start into your more adult life, as an example, having children early, maybe, or having a career early, or maybe you were able to finish your studies as a result versus the party girl like me.

I mean, I didn’t go to university as an example. I mean, I don’t have higher education like that. So obviously that was a con for me because who knows, I might not have been able to do anything with myself career-wise. And then you have the quiet person who might feel like a con that, you know, I missed out on some of the best years of my life. Some of those years when it is very appropriate to be wild and crazy. Now, when I’m older, I feel like I cannot do that in the same way. And I might have the need to do this. So I do believe that it’s pros and cons, which is why I don’t judge people, whatever journey they have chosen for themselves. I myself belong to the wild and crazy party girl. And also looking to my background. It’s very understandable why I ended up having my twenties of just traveling, partying and kind of not focusing so much on the career or I don’t know, setting up a family and things like that because I did grow up in a very strict household.

And I did feel very deprived of my teenage years where I literally didn’t do anything. I didn’t have the experience of dating. I didn’t have the experience of going to parties and things like that. I just didn’t experience a typical teenage life that many other teenagers did in those years. So as soon as I finished high school, I felt so deprived, like really deprived that I really had to go all in and not look back, and just explore everything I could explore and finally enjoy myself, and party, and do whatever I wanted. It was such a liberating feeling for me. So yeah, you have to always understand where you come from and not judge yourself so badly because we are who we are after all. And I think it’s just part of who we are as well. So let’s just own it and see it as a part of our journey to where we are today.

Next question. How do you compose yourself when you are feeling social anxiety? So, ladies, I don’t know if you have been taking part in my networking and socializing mini-series that have been going on, if not, then go and visit my YouTube channel. The videos are there and also make sure that you get the workbook on networkingminiseries.com because it has actually exercises that will help you improve your socializing skills. This coming Monday, by the way, May 10th, 2021 I am actually hosting an in-depth free workshop. Yes, ladies, we are going to learn a bunch of socializing skills that really have helped me on my journey, especially because I have also been socially awkward in the past. So I’m going to share some bits and pieces with you in this workshop. So make sure you go to networkingwebinars.com to sign up because you are going to learn loads and it’s a free event.

So don’t miss. To answer your question about what happens when you have social anxiety and you are in a social setting. I really do understand anxiety because I do have it as well from time to obviously I have it much less now, but in the past, I have had more of it. So based on my own experience with this, I have understood that anxiety is very much in your own head. And I’m not saying now that type of anxiety that can be chemically linked, um, because some people really do have severe anxiety. So I’m not really referencing that. I’m saying more when we feel anxious when we feel worried when we feel scared, et cetera. And really that is usually because of intrusive thoughts that come into your head. It’s sometimes like obsessive thoughts. You are just used to think certain patterns in certain settings.

It’s almost like those thought patterns get on autopilot. Let’s say you step into a room and you are immediately used to start thinking sort of thoughts. It’s very important to break those patterns and you break them by being aware of these patterns. You also need to really force your thoughts to snap out of it. It sounds easy, but it’s obviously not that easy, but it’s actually how it’s done from time to time, I can get some anxious, intrusive thoughts. And at that moment I catch that thought by being aware of it. And I force it out of my mental state, meaning that on purpose, I start focusing on other thoughts until I have kicked that thought out of my head. Does that make sense? That’s my best tip for dealing with social anxiety because really it is just an illusion that is stuck in your head. And it’s all about you getting out of your thoughts and think less and just do more and push through those thoughts.

Next question. Can you do a home tour? I was actually quite surprised. Um, so this question was asked me, and then I answered it in my stories and I have so many people repost my answer because they said that they agreed and that, you know, finally people don’t get this, et cetera, et cetera. It was actually really interesting. Now, one of the things I really want you to be aware of ladies, regardless if you have an internet following, regardless if you are an influencer or not, I don’t, it doesn’t matter how many followers you have, because this is really applicable to everyone. The only times I would say, okay, maybe you shouldn’t worry too much about those is if you have a closed Instagram account or Facebook account and you know, every single person who is following you, then I think, yes, you can maybe relax a little bit, but everyone else really, be careful.

And I’m speaking from experience, experience from friends, experience from fellow influencer friends as well. Many people who I know who have shown their homes online on social media, specifically, those who have shared their homes in detail have had issues, whether it is with burglaries, primarily because of burglaries. Or because they have had stalkers or people just showing up because they figure out where this person lives and they just, you know, I don’t know, maybe I nosy or they are not mentally there. You know, some people are a bit creepier in this world and they all have access to internet. So you really need to be careful. So there are these two reasons. So you need to protect yourself. If you have an online presence, I do not recommend doing a home tour and that’s not something that I’m planning on doing.

I also think that the only exception for a home tour is let’s say Tatler or Town and Country calls you, or I don’t know, Hello! Magazine says we want to do a center spread on your home, and you want to show off your home. Then I think it’s a different story. But other than that, why would you want to show every single corner of how you live? Really? You are making the job easier for criminals who understand how you live, what items you have at home, how to access your home, how to maneuver inside your home. Once you’re in there, et cetera, et cetera. Unless you have bodyguards with 24-hour security. I wouldn’t do a home tour. Truly, I have friends who would not a big following who showed off their home on Instagram and had robberies as a result. And it’s not a fun experience. And it does also traumatize you. So I don’t think it’s worth doing it. And also like for you as a person, what values are going to give you showing off your home? I mean, maybe you get an instant gratification because it’s like, oh, look at how I live. Look at all my nice things, you know. But in the long run you might actually expose yourself to the degree where criminals have all access to you or stalkers. And I just don’t think that it’s worth it. So please be aware of this ladies. This is no joke. This should be taken into strong consideration. So please do protect yourselves.

Now let’s talk a little bit about the Dyson Airwrap because I received loads of questions about it on my Instagram. I did show you that I have bought it not so long ago, maybe a month ago or two. I can’t remember now, but let me tell you one thing. Because I know a lot of you trust me because I am very honest and I’m not going to sugarcoat anything and Dyson does not sponsor me. I paid full price for it. So first things first, let’s talk about my hair type. My natural hair is fine hair, fine and thin hair to be specific. And that’s half of my head, my own hair. Then the rest of my head at which is the other half, you have my Russian Virgin hair extensions, which also is towards the lighter type of hair, but it’s not as fine as my own hair, but it’s similar, but not exactly the same. Meaning that, when I do styling, then of course my hair extensions last longer with the styling versus my own fine hair. Where not much really last, unless you use really strong hair spray. So the big question is how does Dyson work on my type of hair? And it’s hard for me to tell you whether Dyson results last on my fine hair because you can’t really tell because I have the support of my hair extensions. I would say my Dyson hairstyling last several days. And they also need to tell you that since I started using the Dyson air wrap, I feel like my hairstyling has really improved. You can see it in my, I think last three YouTube videos, my hair there is tied with Dyson Airwrap. I prefer the styling over my previous styling tools because before I used to first blowdry my hair, and then I would use a curling iron because I prefer my hair wave.

With Dyson, it goes actually much faster now because you blow-dry your hair and you curl it at the same time now, which basically reduces the amount of time I spend on styling. Because before it was like, okay, first, you need to blow dry your hair dry before you do the curling. And that takes its time. And then once that is done, you do the curling that takes even longer time. But with the Dyson Airwrap, it’s like you kill two birds, one stone. And that’s what I really like about it. Plus I also like the fact that it’s very light to hold. So your hands, you know, because you have to hold it up quite a lot. You don’t get as tired and you just don’t find the process to be as annoying. And then lastly, I feel like the Dyson Air Wrap is just very user-friendly and you can use it in so many different ways.

There are many techniques that you can do, and you can sometimes have different appearances of your hairstyling as a result. So sometimes you can have looser curls, sometimes tighter curls. Sometimes you just have a little, I don’t know, a very casual look to your hair. I don’t know. You can just do so much with it. You can even blow dry it straight, and you can pretty much do everything with it. So I do recommend investing in one, ladies. I do, I know they are expensive. They are around maybe 500-600 USD, which is quite a lot. But if you’re planning on buying a curling iron, blow dryer, then you might as well just get a Dyson, a Dyson kit. Because you have many mounts. You will get a straightening mount where you can brush your hair straight while you blow-dry it. You will get various curling wands, wands, sorry, can’t talk properly. With the Airwrap feature. You will also get the amount for the blow-dry and the brush, Mount, whatever you have many mounts. And it’s just such a great tool. Really? I do recommend it and I’m not sponsored. So, Dyson, you owe me big time. But here you go. That’s my honest review.

How would you defend yourself or someone else if someone insulted you (or someone else)? Interesting question, because it all depends on the situation on the insult, on what would be appropriate to reply, and what actually makes you downgrade yourself in that scenario to the level of the person who insults you. I really do believe that the person who insults you, you should really let them speak for themselves because people who are bright, smart, intelligent will always see through people who are unkind. People who are mean, people who are lying. People who are somehow jealous, et cetera, et cetera. And I do believe that it’s important to let that person speak for themselves. Let that person embarrass themselves. Let that person show their true colors.

When you start defending yourself, when you respond back or go to attack back, that’s when you end up becoming on the same level as this person who insulted you. And I don’t think that’s always a good idea, because then you’re not allowing that person to speak for themselves. You need to be able to trust that bright, intelligent, smart people are able to see through when an insult is an insult, and is going to be to your benefit. Let’s say you have been insulted in a setting where there are other people, people are going to be on your side. When it’s obvious that the person doing the insult is the one to blame. But again, ladies, this is not in all scenarios. So I’m not saying that you should always stay quiet and never bite back. If you can bite back in a way where you don’t lose your face or where you don’t have to sink to their level, whatever answer can be, whatever response that is, then do that. Just be mindful and make sure you are the one who’s keeping your head high in the end. It’s very important that you don’t sink to that person’s level. Let them embarrass themselves. Don’t embarrass yourself too.

And then the next question. Do you have flaws? How do you overcome a limiting belief? You seem perfect. Haha. Okay. I don’t think I seem perfect and I certainly am not striving to appear perfect, by the way. Of course, ladies, I have my flaws just like anyone else. And I am also trying to be quite transparent about my flaws. I’m sure there’s more that I haven’t shared with you, but you know, one step at a time. But no ladies, no perfectionism in this little elegant corner here, but the question about how do you overcome a limiting belief? I feel like I’ve spoken so much about it, but it’s also the same thing with dealing with your intrusive thoughts, becoming aware when a thought is a limiting belief, a false belief, and stop acting on it. It’s actually also that simple. But the secret here is again, the awareness.

Most of us were not aware of the thoughts that are holding us back. We believe in them so much. So we act on autopilots on them as a result, and that’s incredibly toxic and that’s something that will always keep you in the place where you are right now. So it’s incredibly important that we wake up. We become aware and we identify our limiting beliefs because only then are we able to change patterns and set ourselves free and embrace perhaps new patterns, new goals, better patterns, healthier goals, better ways of living your life. And ultimately that’s how we end up achieving our goals as a result.

Now, ladies, last question for today, isn’t it too late to start networking on social media at the age of 28? Sorry, I keep laughing, but I just find it so funny how someone can think that 28 is late. Wow. I think 28 is very young. So which is good. The younger the better, but 28 is definitely not too late. You can find new friends at the age of 28. You can meet your future husband at the age of 28. I mean you can find all of this much later as well, but no, of course, it’s not too late. The good thing is that I am going to release something next week that I have been working on for so long, over a year’s time, it’s actually going to help ladies socialize with each other. So keep an eye and an ear open next week and definitely come and join me on my free workshop because actually, I’m going to reveal loads during that workshop.

So come on Monday, May 10th, 2021 and join us. Get the invite link on networkingwebinar.com. Because I do believe that social media networking, online networking is definitely going to be very significant for our future socializing. I mean it already is, but we are still in the very beginning stages of it. So I want to actually be part of this and offer something to the ladies in my community because I know that it’s incredibly hard to find like-minded women these days. So I have developed something and worked on something for such a long time. So ladies, once you hear about it next week, you’re going to love it. I myself who have access to this, I’m already loving it and I’m head over heels excited and I just cannot wait to share it with the world. Whoa. So ladies, for this reason, I’m going to leave you here.

Quick question. What did you think about our little casual chit-chat and Q&A today? Did you like it? Did you not like it? Um, I like it because I feel like we can talk a little bit about everything. It’s like a little casual chit-chat, so it’s always fun to do these type of Q&A’s. I love them. They’re definitely one of my favorite segments. So ladies, next Wednesday I will be back and make sure you come and visit me at my live workshop on Monday. I will be waiting for you and don’t forget. It’s absolutely free. So register at networkingwebinar.com. All right, ladies, that was it for this week. Thank you so much for being with me and I wish you all a good week ahead. Stay safe. Bye for now.

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Anna Bey is an educator in the elegant feminine empowerment space and the founder of an online finishing school for women. She can confidently call herself a pioneer in this genre because she was the first to be sharing content in this niche since 2012.

Author picture

Anna Bey is an expert on Modern Elegance™, upscale transformations, and leveling up, with over 150 million channel views. Since 2012, she has taught women how to develop a more refined personal presence and lifestyle inside the Anna Bey Academy, where she hosts her various classes and courses. Her publication features include The Times UK, Newsweek, New York Post, Cosmopolitan, and many more.


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