How to be elegant online. What gives away your true class

Podcast Episode 16

My dear elegant podcast listeners, it’s Wednesday and we are back with a new episode ladies. Today we need to talk about online and behavior, and especially about kind of what’s appropriate and what’s not appropriate in terms of our own behavior, how we react to things, other people’s behavior, and yeah, everything around it. Because I just posted a YouTube video called “10 things elegant ladies never do on Zoom.” And by the way, if you have watched that video, I really think you should go and watch it. Because I am trying out a little bit of new type of things in my YouTube videos that I would love to hear from you, whether you like it or not because I never thought that I have this like a little bit of an acting side to me. Sorry, I’m laughing because it kind of feels strange talking like this about yourself.

I don’t see myself as an actor by the way, but I thought it was actually a little bit funny to do some comic clips to add into my YouTube videos. So, I have been doing that lately. A few ones were actually ones that I did that people didn’t understand that it was a comedy clip. I was like sitting with glasses in one of my videos, reading a book on etiquette, and licking my fingers to just turn the pages. And people thought that I was serious about that and actually started to, to point out, like, why are you licking your finger when you are, you know, changing the pages that are not hygienic and that’s not elegant. And, and ladies, I know that you know, but you have to understand that I’ve started adding these comedy elements into my videos. And anyway, I would like to hear from you, do you like them or do you not like them? But definitely go and watch my latest video, “10 things I’ll get ladies never do on Zoom” because there I actually did loads, just for fun. And I’m having loads of fun with these types of elements and I think you will like them too. So, but anyway, let me know. I’m really curious to find out what you think.

Okay. I think we need to continue the conversation though on kind of online behavior. Because, you know, I did this video, how to behave during a zoom call what’s appropriate to do during the zoom call. And what’s not appropriate during the zoom call. And who knew that we would live in a time where actually there is something that is called zoom etiquette, but it is our new normal, it is our new type of lifestyle. So we have to adopt, sorry. I meant to adapt, not adopt. Sometimes when I talk, I say the wrong things and I don’t even realize it just a little FYI. Like the elegant ladies that we are. So today I want to continue the conversation on how to behave elegantly online and on social media, because there are loads to say on the subject, by the way. And I think one could go incredibly deep on it.

Maybe write a book about it, but today I just want to cover some of those things that are, I think, quite important quite relevant for the time right now, et cetera. And also some that I know I have received many questions from you in regards to that, I would like to actually answer those questions in today’s episode. So ladies, let’s, therefore, dive straight into how to behave elegantly online and on social media. And I think before we begin, I’ll actually want to answer a common question that sometimes just pops upon any subject. And that is, well, why does it matter if we’re elegant or not? Why do we have to be elegant? Like why do we need to be elegant on social media? Why do we need to be elegant online? And this is a thing that not everybody has to be elegant if they don’t want, this is a personal preference.

Some of us are just interested in elegance. So like, let us be interested in that. Now the other thing why it’s beneficial to be elegant online or in general is because it’s a form of refinement and it adds professionalism to your personal brand. And I think many people out there are a bit defensive when it comes to this whole idea of personal branding, they might find it fake. They might find it pretentious, or maybe they find it wrong in some way or another. But the problem is that personal branding exists in our society, whether we like it or not. And it’s not something that we can just run away from. As soon as we leave our home and step out of that door from our house, we are acting with our personal brand because your personal brand is how people see you and perceive you.

You cannot change this kind of social culture. This is just how we operate. Thanks to psychology. Thanks to… Who knows what else, but this is just the way it is, right? So hate it or leave it. This is the reality. And for us who are interested in elegance, we have chosen that, okay. We would like to have more of an elegant personal brand. And that’s basically all we do. Other people might want to have a different type of personal brand. And I think that will be totally different from what it is that I do. But in my personal opinion, also about elegance and why it’s important for us who are interested in it. It’s because elegance really does hit multiple things in one stone. What do you call? It hits a few flies in one stone. Okay. I don’t really remember now that expression, but elegance is oftentimes very ethical.

You know, it’s an ethical way of living and behaving. It’s also a kinder way of living and behaving, and it’s also more appropriate behavior. Behavior that will work in most social settings with any kind of people. And ultimately it’s actually a mindset. And I mean, we use elegance in order to empower ourselves, improve our personal brands. But most importantly, it’s a tool for our own mental wellbeing and to gain confidence, right? So when we speak about, okay, do we have to be elegant online? I would say, you don’t have to, but if you want to make sure that you are acting with good ethics, you’re being an ethical person, you are being appropriate. You are not being unprofessional and you’re not having behavior that puts you in the wrong light, basically have behavior that will give you the wrong personal branding. Have people misunderstand you as a person.

And as a little comment actually on what I just said. One thing that we need to take into account is that we’re never going to be able to please everybody. And we’re always going to have people who misunderstand us and our personal brand. That’s just also part of life. And we shouldn’t strive to be in control freaks to try and control every single, you know, opinion about us or every single detail about us, because that’s just not possible. Like it’s not even a healthy way of living. But we can try our best to try and communicate the best way possible about ourselves and position ourselves in that light as much as possible because that will help us achieve certain goals that will help us make certain connections, that might give us maybe the job promotion we always did or, or make us attract certain people in our life. You know, this is how life works at the end of the day.

What I really want to focus the conversation around today is to talk about the kind of elegant principles that will in particular make you appear appropriate and professional. Because some of us, we need to appear professional because for our careers and that type of thing, but also we, I think generally want to be appropriate. We might not want to be the person who people in, perhaps in the private talk about in a way where it’s clearly obvious that whatever we’re doing, it’s not in a good taste. It makes us be put in such a bad light that it actually sabotages us, but we are not being aware of it. You know, this aspect is actually one of the main reasons why I want to do this episode today because I noticed that of all the things that really hold people back are those mistakes that we keep doing, but we’re not aware of them.

And we end up sabotaging ourselves. We might think that, okay, well, this is fine. This is good. This is appropriate, et cetera. But actually what’s going on is that we are sabotaging ourselves. And we are doing things that are holding our potential back. When in reality, we could have ages ago got that promotion at work or got that type of guy that we were looking for. But because we’re just not aware of certain details in our personal brands, we end up missing out on those opportunities. Now ladies, I really am here for you in order to try and fix those areas. And that’s also the big reason why I think this episode is quite necessary at this time because an online presence is everything today. And we cannot escape this fact, maybe if you literally have zero online presence, then maybe this might not be irrelevant to you. However, I think it might still be important for you to take part in the little things that I want to share with you today. Because if you end up going online one day, then at least you’re going to be better prepared.

Oh, ladies, I just forgot to tell you the one really important thing is that tomorrow, Thursday I am starting my brand new series called socializing secrets mini-series. And this is going to be again, a four-part training coming out to you in small bits and pieces where I will actually educate you on my best networking tips. And also the tips that I have seen successful women utilize and achieve amazing results in their life as a result because of these kinds of networking hacks. I want to share all this information with you. And as usual, it’s free of charge. If you want to join for this, you need to register on and put yourself on the list. Again is free. You will be notified when all the videos come out and when the live workshop will be held. So make sure you do that.

And ladies, the first video is coming out already tomorrow, Thursday. So make sure you go immediately to and register. Okay, ladies. So let’s start talking about the first subject, which I personally find very interesting, and that is. What is personal that you can share and what is too private to share online. And this doesn’t matter if an influencer, an aspiring influencer, or just a private person who does not have any aspirations of being a public person or an influencer, how much is appropriate to share online with the world and what is appropriate? My golden rule is this: it’s very personal and it’s really up to you. And this can change at any point in life. Maybe right now, you are in a point where you feel very comfortable sharing loads with the world, and maybe there will come a point in your life when maybe your life will require you to be more private, or you want to be more private because who knows, maybe you got tired of being personal.

So this is an individual choice. And I don’t think there’s a right and a wrong. I follow accounts, who can be very private. I remember once I was quite shocked, I saw an influencer make an Instagram post where she wrote a lengthy description about her and her husband’s sex life and what he likes and what she likes. For me, that was very shocking. I would personally not be able to ever do something like that, but you know, people are different. Who am I to judge? All of this is therefore very individual. And you have to ask yourself, well, where does your limit of a private and personal go? Again, there isn’t a right and wrong. This is where you need to tune in to your own validation capability and tell yourself that, okay, I am comfortable going this far. I feel no longer comfortable going that far.

Those subjects are not comfortable for me. And that’s where I draw my line. In my case, as an example, I like to be personal. And I like to bring my audience with me in my Instagram stories. As an example, do subscribe. If you haven’t, it’s Anna Bey on Instagram, I post stories daily almost. So you can definitely get a peek into my private life if you’re not following me, but I like being personal with my audience. I like them to not see me perfect. And up down all the time, I want them to come with me when I’m exercising or even on some occasion, they see me while I’m still sitting in my pajamas. I like that level of being personal for some people that is way too much, and it would never work for them or their personal brand. But my personal brand has always been based on honesty, transparency, and being as real as possible while I mix elegance into it.

You know, by now probably that I don’t want to have a very stereotypical, elegant, personal brand where I am sitting like a little lady looking perfect and always acting picture-perfect in absolutely everything that I do. I just feel like that’s not me. I really don’t. I love elegance. And I use elegance as a tool. My life is not just one elegant little soap opera all the time. There are more elements in my life than that. And I like my audience to see that I don’t want them to only see elegance. So this is the type of thinking that you need to incorporate when you decide what’s too much and what’s personal for you. And this is where you need to trust your own sense of validation. You need to be able to tell yourself that, okay, I am not stupid. I am able to assess my personal brand with a clear head and make a decision for myself that, okay, this is absolutely fine and appropriate for me. We all have an intuition and gut feeling that guides us in the wrong direction. If you’ll feel somehow that, okay, no something is wrong with the way I promote myself online or position myself online, then yes, maybe there is something that needs to be overlooked there, and you can always troubleshoot. You can always ask friends of yours to help you understand your online personal brand better and give you their feedback on what you can improve and how you’re currently being perceived from an objective point of view.

So let’s dive straight into the question of what is actually appropriate to post. And this continues with what I just said, that you will have to set your own standard of what is appropriate for you and your personal brand to post. You also need to take into account your own values. And this is where I know people can have very different opinions because people simply share different values. And now I want to emphasize the fact that you know what, it’s absolutely fine to have different values and think differently. And I personally think it’s a little bit of narrow thinking to think that your opinion is the only right opinion. As an example, we have a very hot topic, whether it’s appropriate or not to post your children online. And I think that there is no right and wrong. I think it all depends on your own values and views on the subject.

For some people, it’s hundred percent appropriate. And for others, it’s very inappropriate. And I don’t have an answer for, should you, or should you not because I believe that again, this is your own personal preference. It also depends on your own values and views on the subject. So yes, in some circumstances it might be inappropriate. In others, it might not sorry to be so vague with you, but I’m sure you are understanding where I’m coming from, because there are really two sides of the story and you can’t say one is right, and one is wrong. Because when you do, you are putting your own subjective view on it, which is fine. But you just have to be aware that at the end of the day, there are two sides to the coin and it’s actually up to each and every individual to decide what’s right for them and their family.

As an example, I have also spoken about that I personally don’t post my husband online and that’s something that is personal to me. Now, do I think it’s wrong when other people post their husbands online? Not necessarily. It’s just that it doesn’t work for me and my family life. I am aware of the negatives around posting your husband. And I’m also aware of the positives that can happen when you post about him. Cause there’s always two sides to the coin. Now, in my case, it just doesn’t work for me. However, I think that one should definitely be mindful of the consequences and then build their own decision based on that. And same goes for posting about children. You need to also be aware of the consequences if you decide to post your children, but some people think it’s absolutely fine. So let them do kind of what they want.

If it doesn’t fit your bill, you know what, then it doesn’t. And I think it’s okay to be different and to think differently. The only time I would say is inappropriate to post something. I think that has to do more with quantity when it becomes a little bit too much of something. And I have spoken about this whole thing of things have to be balanced. That’s when they are appropriate, it has to be in a decent amount of quantity. As soon as something is too much in the quantity. That’s usually when it becomes off-putting. So let’s take the relationship. As an example, there are people, there are couples who might post quite a lot of their relationship. And let’s say that they are not dating coaches or relationship experts where perhaps we’d be more appropriate to give loads of insights and details because it simply fits that personal brand and that context.

But let’s say a regular person just wants to really put everything on display and likes to post 10 pictures a day of their significant other, very intimate pictures, very lovey-dovey pictures. And to the point that it becomes a little bit too much in quantity of how much the viewer has to have an insight into that person’s relationship. It simply becomes too much. That’s the balance and elegance lady knows when it becomes too much. Now, is there some form of measuring stick I can give you? Well, that’s the thing you have to develop your own skills, your own measuring, a stick of feeling when something is too much or not because it all depends. In what context you do, something, what you do exactly, and how it looks because not everybody posts the same type of pictures or writes the same type of posts. Right? So you can’t really say, okay, you can only post once a week, a picture of your husband.

Don’t do it 10 times. You know? I mean, surely in one way. Yes. You could say it like that, but I’m just trying to help you find a better way of thinking. Rather than many times, women want to have a specific quota. Like, okay, well Anna, just give me a number. Tell me if it’s okay for me to post five pictures or 10 pictures or one picture. I need to know a number. But again, it depends. Maybe that one picture is you two standing in underwear and that’s so inappropriate on your profile that it really puts people off versus you posting, I don’t know, three innocent, regular pictures of your husband, and nobody really gets bothered by that. You see, try to be able to evaluate yourself objectively, always take into account. Okay. Does this comes across a little bit too much, is what I’m doing currently in too much quantity, or what if I was the viewer of my platform?

I think it’s a little bit annoying to see five pictures of my husband this week, or how much would I personally would like to see him. And I think you kind of have to think objectives and practice your objective thinking skills in order to be able to give yourself those answers. I know that some of you would love to have me give you all the answers, but I really want you to train, to be able to give yourself the answer to validate yourself. And don’t just rely on the third-party opinion. You have all the answers within you. If you’re able to tune into your objective thinking. And of course, when you educate yourself on kind of the general terms of what’s considered elegant, I hope this makes sense. And I hope you really understand my point, what I’m trying to tell you right now because I know it’s a bit confusing, but ultimately this is what I’m trying to teach you out here. Okay. And this is what’s going to help you forward on your journey, especially with elegance and your personal brand.

Well, another thing that I have definitely come across is that oftentimes people like generally speaking find a little bit annoying and that could be worth taking into account. If you want to appear more professional and more elegant online is definitely when you are bragging and showing off. And I think that there are really good limits when something is done, you know, in good taste, let’s say you are happy about something and you want to show it, or let’s say you are educating others about something. You know, there are sometimes unboxing videos on, let’s say YouTube, where people are showing something in a more educational manner rather than, oh, look at me, I bought the latest Hermès bag or something like that, which of course also happens. But I think it all depends on how you do it. And, and that’s when it becomes different, but definitely, you can have some times, and again, we’re looking at quantity now when people are repeatedly showing off in whatever way possible, whether it is what they have purchased, where they have been, who they know and all that type of thing.

And it’s done in a very obvious way. And it’s done in high quantity. I think doing the one-off here and there, it’s fine. And I don’t think that’s wrong per se. I also don’t think it’s wrong to show sometimes what you have purchased. Or like I said, if it’s done in a good way in a, in a different type of setting, rather than the obvious look at me, I am better than you. I am so cool. And all those things, because people really send that energy. If it’s not done with that intention and you can sincerely feel it as a viewer, as an audience, then I think it’s fine too, as a one-off here and there sprinkle in a little bit of unboxing, a little bit of this, a little bit of that, you know, it’s fine. I don’t think it’s wrong, but again, that’s my opinion.

Maybe you have a different opinion. But there are people who really have low self-esteem who are feeling insecure that they really need to show off their lives. And I think those persons, we have all met a few of those in our lives, where have them on our feed on Instagram or YouTube. And that’s when they become this tasteful. And that’s when people start becoming annoyed because it’s in too much quantity and it’s too in your face. That’s when we don’t like something, that’s when the general population gets annoyed. So you need to take that into account. If you are somebody who tends to be a little bit on the show-off side, you know, I personally stopped judging people who show off. I know that it can be annoying, but then you have to ask yourself, okay, why are you being so annoyed by it?

Like, why is it so triggering to you? Is it really such a big deal for you that there is this person online who it’s obvious that that person is insecure in one way or another. And that this person is using social media to validate themselves. Can’t we just have some understanding that sometimes not everybody’s going to be perfect and people are battling with different issues within themselves? So maybe we can be a little bit humble and just say, okay, it’s annoying behavior, but you know what, let me have understanding that that person is just being a little bit insecure right now, and I’m not going to react on it, I’m not going to be triggered by it. If it still triggers me, then you know what? I can do a friendly little on unfollow, or sometimes you can even mute somebody on Instagram so that you don’t see their posts, et cetera.

If it becomes triggering to you. I think one thing that’s hitting me at the moment as I’m talking about this is that you know, we live in a climate where so many people are getting offended and triggered by so many things. It can be triggered by somebody who I don’t know, shows off to the point that you have to sit there and leave a bunch of mean comments to that person because you want to punish that person for doing so let’s say, you know, you’re going after that person as a little school teacher and be like, oh, that’s wrong. You shouldn’t be doing that. And you are an idiot. You are ugly and go and die. You know? I mean, that’s how some people behave online. I want to say that definitely. There are some real reasons when we should feel triggered and we have all the rights in the world to feel offended because definitely there are people that sometimes post inappropriate things, unethical things, and that’s different.

I’m not talking about that, but I feel like we are also living in a climate today where people are just being so sensitive for so many things. And also I feel that people are not cutting each other enough slack. What happened with just having some plain understanding that, okay, well, somebody did a mistake here. Somebody is not perfect. Somebody might be dealing with all kinds of things behind the scenes. And yes, maybe I wouldn’t post that or do that, but so I have to go on to attack, or do I have to get so angry and upset if it’s not for me, it’s not for me. If I would have done differently, I would have done differently. But do I now need to make this whole show around it? I don’t know. Not saying you cannot. I’m not saying you, shouldn’t. All I’m saying is that sometimes it’s worth just thinking twice before you become a keyboard warrior before you have to go to attack.

When in reality, what that person might need is support or what that person might need is guidance, or what that person might need is just love. Like what happened with peace, love, and understanding. I don’t know. Now it just feels like everybody just wants to go to attack and call each other out and be mean and punish each other. And it’s really, really sad that that’s the era. And that’s the time that will live in. For me being elegant online is when you act with kindness and is when you act with understanding. It’s like we are in a climate right now when it’s so difficult for many people. And I’m not saying everybody I’m saying many people to accept the fact that we can like different things, think differently, and just be very different from each other. And the reason why I’m sharing this with you is that I’ve noticed how defensive people are online.

And I’ve also shared in one of my latest YouTube videos. Feminine habits high-status women do. One of the points was about to look into your own defensiveness because I’m sorry to say, but a little bit of psychoanalysis, you know, I know I’m being a little bit of an armchair psychologist right now, but I have noticed how being defensive is a very common thing that many people do online. And mind you, of course, I have also done my share of being defensive, but I really try to be mindful these days of being aware if I step into any form of defensiveness because I actually don’t want to be that person. And in my opinion, I don’t find it elegant. It’s not an elegant trait when you’re being on the defense and going to attack. If something doesn’t fit your way of thinking or your bill, you know, I think that the most elegant trait is understanding.

And I think it’s one of those really like core things that makes it person ethical, kind, and again, peace, love, and understanding. Isn’t that what we want to really promote that we are able to co-exist with each other in the most friendly and kind way possible, but that will require that we self sacrifice in the way that we don’t have to be so defensive or go to attack as soon as we don’t like something as elegant ladies, we always need to pause for a second and ask ourselves, is this battle really worth it? Is this battle really valid? Is this just triggering to me because I just have a personal issue with this, or is it actually something that is generally an objective matter that needs to be fought for? That was just an example of how you can think about whenever you start feeling, I don’t know agitated about something online, but I definitely think that elegant behavior is to somehow control your anger online, is to control what you write to people online as well.

Now one thing that I have definitely received loads of questions about, and that is – when does it become too provocative? Like, can you post bikini pictures, or is it a bit too much? Do you look tacky, et cetera? And I have definitely mentioned in the past that I think that swimsuit pictures, you have to be mindful of how you post them because some swimsuit pictures or bikini photos can definitely look incredibly tacky and harm your personal brand because it really depends on what type of pose you have in that image. Some poses are very provocative where you kind of pushing your bottom out, you’re leaning forward and you can clearly see the big cleavage hanging. You know, now maybe that does not come across as very elegant versus you standing on the beach in your bikini. There’s nothing overly sexual about your pose. You just look very happy on the vacation and that’s all, and that’s a different type of picture, which I find absolutely fine to post.

If it’s fine for your personal brand, for some people, it might really not be appropriate for their brand. Let’s say they feel very body-conscious, or they feel somehow that they are in an age where they don’t feel comfortable anymore to post pictures of themselves in the bikini who knows. But as a general rule, I think it really depends on how you pose, how you position it, how the picture is made because a bikini picture can definitely be made with good taste. And some are a little bit more with provocative taste. And unfortunately, we still live in a climate where, you know, sexist climate. Women need to be very careful so that they don’t come across as slutty to this, to that, et cetera. And when I tell you ladies that I don’t want you to come across too provocative. I am not saying this because I endorse the fact that we live in such a society.

I am telling you, and I’m being very open with you. That’s the society we live in. So unfortunately there are still certain unwritten rules that we simply have to adapt to in order to benefit the best in society. I have also always said that we can always rebel. That’s fine. If you want to post loads of provocative pictures of yourself, because you want to rebel because you want to reclaim your sexuality, that’s fine. But I’m also teaching about personal branding. And I know that sometimes one battle is going to be a very difficult battle. And it’s really just up to you, which direction you want to go. Again, there is no right and wrong. If you want to take on a specific battle because it’s important for you, then do it. But if you are somebody and you feel okay, it’s not that important for me to post all these provocative pictures.

I rather have a more modest Instagram feed where I don’t really showcase myself in bikini pictures because I know that this is going to help me in my professional life, not having the type of images online off me that can easily be taken out of context or end up in the wrong hands. Let’s say my boss sees that picture and it becomes incredibly awkward. I don’t want that to happen. So I am going to abide by certain social rules that we have, even if it’s a little bit unfair sometimes. But you know what I need to also give you a little input is that we are so focused sometimes on thinking that, oh, there are so many rules on women and isn’t there enough rules on women, et cetera. And even though I agree with that statement to some degree, but I also want you to be aware that actually, if a man is posting a bunch of swimsuit pictures of himself, he’s also going to look somehow unprofessional.

Maybe he won’t be as sexualized as the woman might by society. And that’s where we have the inequality, but he’s also going to look unprofessional. If his boss sees his Instagram account with all of these, you know, pictures of him posing on the beach in his swimming shorts, then his boss might think it’s not tasteful for his career as an example. So I just want to give you a little bit of perspective. These are the social rules, and unfortunately, they are there.

So as we are on the subject of how to be elegant online or elegant to pose. And especially if you want to appear professional, serious. And yeah, you want to just leave a good impression of yourself, a very neutral, positive impression. So obviously, yeah, I think we all can agree that something like alcohol and cigarettes definitely downgrades that impression. So this is also something to be very mindful of that maybe, you know, even though you might think that certain party pictures look fun and yeah, look fun.

That’s all I can say, but maybe they don’t look so fun for everybody. I think some people can read into it and in a way that might not be benefiting you. And I think that’s important to take into account. The same goes if you are, I think holding like a nice glass of champagne or wine, a cocktail that is absolutely fine, but I think it can look a little better out of place. Sometimes if you are grabbing bottles and, you know, posing with bottles and things like that. I know sometimes if you go to nightclubs and you have a table with loads of bottles and drinks, people like to take pictures of them like posing next to the Dom Perignon, you know, or, you know, holding up a Magnum bottle or something like that. And even though at the moment, it might look fun, but most of the time it doesn’t really, I think, serve you in the long run.

At the moment it might be because you feel like, oh, it’s a fun picture. But I think in the long-term when you kind of out of that moment, it might feel, I don’t know. I think sometimes people can look into it in a way that might not be beneficial to you. And I think that’s, what’s important to think about. Other things as well. Cigarettes, should you be smoking in pictures? Should you be holding cigarettes? It depends as an example. I have loads of pictures of me smoking because I used to smoke in the past. I even have some pictures of me smoking a cigar. For me, the ones where I’m holding cigarettes feel a bit too much of what I want to post. I mean, unless I’m posting a picture where I’m showing kind of me before I stopped smoking and all of those things, and people do kind of form an opinion about another person where they start seeing, you know, someone holding cigarettes in the, in the picture, somebody, I don’t know, holding the bottle by its throat or whatever you call it.

No. And I mean, that just leaves a different type of impression. So obviously if you want to improve your personal brand, then try to avoid those types of shots. Unless you feel like it’s so important for you, that you are ready to face the consequences. Because again, we live in a society where there are certain consequences. If we do certain things. Now, another thing that I was thinking about that I actually forgot to mention when we were talking about what’s appropriate to post and that’s actually about other people, because I feel today, we are in a time where everybody is on their phones, filming absolutely everything, taking pictures of absolutely everything. And mind you, I am a social media person. So yes, my phone is out quite often, but I still try to kind of set certain limits on what I post. I’m very careful with posting the people in my life, such as family, my husband, you know, I don’t really post him, also friends.

The only few friends that I post are the ones who are happy for me to post them because they want to, let’s say get a bigger audience, gain followers, et cetera. So those are the very few that I would post. Then there will be a lot of people let’s say who has private Instagrams. There’s no point in reposting because they don’t want to grow an audience. There are also people in my life who don’t have Instagram or social media whatsoever. So I would never post them. And that’s just my preference. I’m not saying this is a rule for, so this is again a moment where you have to decide your own rules. I have also shared in the past that I think it’s very important when you go home to somebody to show people’s environments, respect by not just like posting pictures of every single corner in their house, or you posing in front of, you know, their furniture and things like that.

Of course, if you ask them first and they are fine with it, that’s okay. I have taken pictures inside my friends’ homes, but only if I have asked them for permission. And that’s very, very, very important that you do, please do not just walk into somebody’s home and, you know, without asking them first, is this okay? Is that not okay? And depending on how well, you know, the person, sometimes it’s actually very inappropriate even to ask them. I would only do it to somebody that I really know well. I would feel very uncomfortable stepping into an acquaintance’s home and ask them if I can take a picture outside, or I don’t know of some statue that looks cute or something like that, you know? No, but be mindful and be very respectful and be very discreet with the people that you surround yourself with.

You are going to benefit in the long-term because discreet people are always the ones who have a higher success rate in the high society, as an example, and in life in general, because people feel that you can be trusted. And I think you all know that trust is so incredibly important when you’re forming friendships and especially when you’re maintaining friendships. And please, one more thing. I think we all can agree that taking, I don’t know, stories of other people’s kids or taking pictures of other people’s kids, every posted, that’s also something you need to be incredibly careful about. I believe because that is a little bit more sensitive as well. I wouldn’t even go as far, but maybe I’m being extreme, even asking permission to take a picture of someone’s pet. That is, of course, a little bit more flexible, I think, but you know, just to kind of show manners, I just think this is a very common sense thing.

Tell me again, on my Instagram and Anna Bey podcasts. What you feel about this. I think the bottom line of today’s conversation is to also understand how we all can have different opinions. We all have different versions of elegance. We all have different values. We also have different levels of elegance, right? So some people might be a little bit more strict and some people might be less strict, doesn’t mean that somebody is not elegant, doesn’t mean somebody is only elegant person. You know? So just be a little bit mindful that even though we are talking about something that is classified as something very rigid, it’s actually not. I am teaching modern elegance because I believe in the more open-minded approach. And I really want you ladies to also become more open-minded. I really do believe that that’s the true essence of elegance and personal growth.

And also it’s a lovely contribution to society because again, back to peace, love, and understanding here, you know, we need more of that today. The world is crazy right now, what’s going on. But ladies, that was all I had to say about today’s topic on how to be elegant on social media. And if you enjoy learning more about elegance, from my perspective, then watch my YouTube videos, listen to my podcast, and join secrets of the elite woman. When we open for enrollment. Unfortunately, I don’t have a date set for that yet. Sorry, ladies. We had a slot in February, next time we still don’t know. However, I have something else exciting baking in the oven for you that I know many of you are going to love. So I’m gonna be able to announce it to you in a few weeks. So stay tuned, ladies, a friendly reminder tomorrow, the first video of my free networking mini-series is launching.

And I really don’t want you to miss out. If you are somebody who has a bit more introverted social skills or let’s say you are somebody who is more extroverted or you’re like me, you’re an ambivert. It really doesn’t matter because this mini-series is targeted at absolutely everybody so that we can improve our socializing skills, especially now that we have been, or are still in a pandemic, but we need to get out there again. You know, we also need to develop our own line of socializing skills, which I was kind of hoping that today’s subject could help you with. So, ladies, I have so much more for you. Make sure you sign up at to be able to get the invite for this training. And as I said to you, it’s absolutely free. So I look forward to seeing you there tomorrow. I will be waiting for you. I’m so excited and ladies until next Wednesday, take care of yourself, be kind, and have some peace, love, and understanding meanwhile. Bye for now.

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Anna Bey is an educator in the elegant feminine empowerment space and the founder of an online finishing school for women. She can confidently call herself a pioneer in this genre because she was the first to be sharing content in this niche since 2012.

Author picture

Anna Bey is an expert on Modern Elegance™, upscale transformations, and leveling up, with over 150 million channel views. Since 2012, she has taught women how to develop a more refined personal presence and lifestyle inside the Anna Bey Academy, where she hosts her various classes and courses. Her publication features include The Times UK, Newsweek, New York Post, Cosmopolitan, and many more.


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