Discretion Etiquette – Things You Should Keep Private

I know it’s important to be authentic. I know that in order to form healthy and deep connections, we have to be vulnerable. But there’s a big difference between that and oversharing. There are things you should keep private. And if you want to be an elegant woman, you’ll keep your private life private, except in rare instances (or with your therapist).

Keep Your Private Life Private

There’s a trend nowadays of people talking quite openly about their private lives, even online in front of strangers. And it’s not even with the purpose of sharing a message or lessons learned. It’s just for the sake of being seen. And, believe me, I had a phase like that once. I even went on a trashy reality TV show and embarrassed myself. And that’s okay because I didn’t know any better. But then I learned, grew, and changed.

If you want to spare yourself that embarrassment, err on the side of caution. Keep your life private. It’s not about projecting some rigid image of yourself as a perfect person that never makes mistakes, it’s about:

  • Understanding proper conversation etiquette in high society
  • Not giving others the opportunity to have power over you
  • Not making others uncomfortable unnecessarily

And it’s also about protecting your brand so that you can have more opportunities and doors open for you.

3 Things To Keep Private

The following is a list of three things to keep private, but depending on your culture, personality, and who you’re with, there may be other things to keep private. It’s a matter of common sense, and I know my students have that in abundance!

#1 – Your Intimate Relationships

Whether you’re single and are having fun sometimes or are in a committed relationship, there are certain aspects to these that you should keep to yourself. For example, I never show my husband publicly, and here’s my explanation for that. I also don’t recommend bringing up the topic of sex and I would never ever complain about a significant other or relationship troubles. It’s disrespectful to your partner and is also not very good for the relationship.

#2 – Your Finances

Asking someone how much they make is a huge no-no. And talking about your own financial situation, whether it’s good or bad, is just not elegant. Elegant women are discrete. And, unfortunately, I do see a lot of entrepreneurs being flashy about their earnings. And, to be honest, a lot of them are just saying that in order to sell you something, not because it is actually true.

#3 – Your Religious And Political Beliefs

In the heated political climate we live in these days, I think it’s become almost the norm to shout about your political anger online. But this is the antithesis of class. Political beliefs, just like religious ones, can be extremely controversial topics. Of the 3 things to keep private, they tend to trigger people the most. And, honestly, I rarely see anyone able to change another’s beliefs and instead I just see chaos and ugliness. My advice is to avoid these topics altogether. Why risk the headache when you can channel your energy on something more constructive?

For more on this, make sure you watch my video on 10 Things Elegant Ladies NEVER Say.

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Anna Bey is an educator in the elegant feminine empowerment space and the founder of an online finishing school for women. She can confidently call herself a pioneer in this genre because she was the first to be sharing content in this niche since 2012.

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Anna Bey is an expert on Modern Elegance™, upscale transformations, and leveling up, with over 150 million channel views. Since 2012, she has taught women how to develop a more refined personal presence and lifestyle inside the Anna Bey Academy, where she hosts her various classes and courses. Her publication features include The Times UK, Newsweek, New York Post, Cosmopolitan, and many more.


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