Some of the things I’m going to mention people actually say all the time. But if you want to blend in with the affluent and feel comfortable around them then there are a few things you should think about.
“What do you do?”
Don’t ask affluent people: “So, what do you do?” It’s actually against etiquette to ask people directly what they work with. It’s intrusive and, specially with affluent people, you know that they are doing quite well in life and sometimes when you ask them what they’re doing you come across as an opportunistic person. But if you want to find out what somebody does for a living, there are just other more elegant ways around it. The more you talk to a person, sooner or later you are going to find out what the person works with. You can also stimulate the conversation by talking about your own line of work, by trying to make a person open up more, maybe discuss some business related topics.
Don’t try to impress
Never say things just to impress the affluent, to pretend you’re on the same level. Like I mentioned, because affluent people hold the wealth, the status, or the high position they are used to having people around them trying very hard to impress them. But did you know that you look extremely insecure when you are trying too hard? I would say as a general rule do not try name places you’ve been to, or name people you know, or things you have acquired. Make sure that this information riches them in a an organic or alternative way.
Don’t ask about their money
Don’t be curious about a person’s money or possessions. Obvious one, right? Do you know how many times in high society I’ve come across women, and few men too, who start asking such direct and awkward questions like “do you have a yacht?” or “what car do you drive?” or even this “are you on the Forbes list?”
It’s not okay to be an investigator or to even show off your own luxury lifestyle. The point is not to gather information, but to get to know a person naturally and build a relationship. We might be curious and we might want certain answers, but we have to stay patient, put this aside and never show our curiosity.
Don’t talk about your own money
Never talk about your own money or possessions in a negative way. This is an interesting variation because I wasn’t going to tell you how you shouldn’t brag about about your money or your possessions, because this is obvious. Even talking negatively about your financial situation is a very taboo topic that should be avoided with people that you don’t know. Affluent people have red flags alerts, so if you start bringing up your own money, complaining, they might think that you are fishing for something.
“Nice to meet you”
This might be a bit of a petty remark because this is used by everyone and everywhere. When you say “nice to meet you” when you get introduced to someone or you shake hands you come across as a bit submissive. Like you are trying very hard to be polite, nice, to be liked and that gives away your authority. When you give away your authority, you are signalling that you are not on the same level as the rich. A variation that is used by old money and upper class, they don’t say “nice to meet you.” They say “How do you do?”
It’s polite, formal, very neutral, and at the same time it’s confident and you are not giving away your authority by any form of submissive tone in the phrase.
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