Elegant Ladies and Confidence

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Anna Bey Blog Elegance Coach

Do elegant ladies suffer from low self-esteem?

In the past I’ve heard many ladies say the same things, again and again.
“I cannot settle for a guy that has a normal job. He has to be at least a millionaire.”
“I would never go to a place that wasn’t high-calibre or luxurious.”
“If he doesn’t buy me a first class ticket, I’m not coming!”
“Ew, a 3 or 4 star hotel? How terrible!”
“If we don’t have a table at the club, I’m not going to go.”
“Does he use public transport? You must be joking! Can’t he afford a driver?”
Etc…

I’m sure you’re understanding the bigger picture here. And yes, unfortunately there are so many ladies that talk like this.

I personally think that women deserve the best treatment possible. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean 5 star this or first class that. The best possible treatment doesn’t necessarily involve money. It’s not about how much was spent, but rather about how it was spent. Was he thoughtful and considerate? That’s what you should be thinking about, whether he is a high-value man who acts with good manners and class.

It’s important not to lose your sense of reality and to avoid diva behaviour.

The ironic part is that most of the ladies that talk like this come from normal homes, with normal families and they have never been wealthy themselves.

Just because a man spent a lot of money on them once or twice, they develop a superiority complex. A luxurious lifestyle is nice to strive for, but it’s not everything. Focus on bettering yourself.

It’s so bizarre and such a turn off.

Whenever I would confront ladies like this, I got this answer each time:

“But I think I should be treated the best way possible” or “I value myself and I would never dare to settle for anything less.”

Fair enough, I understand the point that they feel they deserve the absolute best. But why does “best” necessarily need to be so money oriented?

You see, people that have a very strong need for validation are the ones that have low self-esteem. They cannot feel good enough about themselves by themselves, so they require validation from somewhere else. The key thing is to focus on improving your own life.

You’re not a failure if you’re not living a certain lifestyle.

I sense that when a lady feels she cannot go below a certain standard that it’s really because she is insecure in herself. If she doesn’t surround herself with the best, then she can never be the best. Do you see where I’m going?

In her mind, the successful people are the ones living a luxurious lifestyle. The more money is spent on them, the more value they have in their own eyes.

But the truth is…

 You already are a million dollars, and you don’t need a million dollars for that to be true.

Designer shopping, high-class events and VIP friends should not be how you evaluate yourself.

You’re not less of a person if you don’t own a Chanel bag, or know the right people or get invited to lavish parties and exclusive trips abroad. The important thing is that you conduct yourself with good manners and etiquette.

I think there is nothing wrong with wanting a comfortable lifestyle, owning beautiful things and surrounding yourself with the upper class – but it cannot become an obsession. You should never demand it unless you’ve earned the money to pay for it. 


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Anna Bey is an educator in the elegant feminine empowerment space and the founder of an online finishing school for women. She can confidently call herself a pioneer in this genre because she was the first to be sharing content in this niche since 2012.

About Me

Anna Bey is an expert on Modern Elegance™, upscale transformations, and leveling up, with over 150 million channel views. Since 2012, she has taught women how to develop a more refined personal presence and lifestyle inside the Anna Bey Academy, where she hosts her various classes and courses. Her publication features include The Times UK, Newsweek, New York Post, Cosmopolitan, and many more.

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